I have been married for about 2 1/2 years and have a 17 month old son. I found out 3 days ago that my husband has been sleeping with a friend of mine for about 2 1/2 months now. He has been playing house with her and involving our son. I have decided to stay with him and we are going to go to counseling but I am having such a hard time dealing with her invasion in every aspect of my life. How do I deal with seeing the ghosts of her and my husband when I hold my son. I see them together when I am in our home because they had sex there and everywhere. I am literally sick when I go into my own home because of the images of them together. I feel so violated and that I have nothing that is mine any more. My son, my home, my bed, my car and everything has been touched and used by her. This is really getting to me. He even sent her emails saying the things to her that he has said to me in what I thought was a very happy marriage. Any suggestions?

(((((Leeann)))))))
You are one smart lady to come to this forum here at MB.

You have just discovered this horrible betrayal - as you put it invasion in your life. I remember that feeling - for me it was like having my insides sucked out of me...the pain is so deep and so wounding.

Firstly - it is good you are going to counselling. Is your husband remorseful at this time or confused? (My H was confused - see my signature line).

Secondly - two books I recommend Surviving an Affair, by Dr Harley and After the Affair by Janis A Spring. There are many other worthy books - but the latter was the first book my H and I read - prior to my finding MB - and it is good.

You are only just beginning - you will have many good days and many just plain awful days. Please come here for support.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Alberta:
<strong>(((((Leeann)))))))
You are one smart lady to come to this forum here at MB.

You have just discovered this horrible betrayal - as you put it invasion in your life. I remember that feeling - for me it was like having my insides sucked out of me...the pain is so deep and so wounding.

Firstly - it is good you are going to counselling. Is your husband remorseful at this time or confused? (My H was confused - see my signature line).

Secondly - two books I recommend Surviving an Affair, by Dr Harley and After the Affair by Janis A Spring. There are many other worthy books - but the latter was the first book my H and I read - prior to my finding MB - and it is good.

You are only just beginning - you will have many good days and many just plain awful days. Please come here for support.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Thank you for the vote of confidence I really need it. I don't feel very strong but I am trying with every fiber in me. I agree with the hole in your heart I have this huge hole in me and it feels so very dark and empty. I will read the book recommendations.
He is very remorseful and vows to do anything to make our marriage work. I just want the images that keep invading my brain to go away.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Alberta:
<strong>(((((Leeann)))))))
You are one smart lady to come to this forum here at MB.

You have just discovered this horrible betrayal - as you put it invasion in your life. I remember that feeling - for me it was like having my insides sucked out of me...the pain is so deep and so wounding.

Firstly - it is good you are going to counselling. Is your husband remorseful at this time or confused? (My H was confused - see my signature line).

Secondly - two books I recommend Surviving an Affair, by Dr Harley and After the Affair by Janis A Spring. There are many other worthy books - but the latter was the first book my H and I read - prior to my finding MB - and it is good.

You are only just beginning - you will have many good days and many just plain awful days. Please come here for support.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

The images and pain do fade w/ time, depending on what you do whith the time. My best advice is in the link in my signature line, below.

Another book I'd reconmend is Torn Assunder by Dave Carder. I'm still reading it, but it really gets down to some of the underlying causes of Affairs.

Just my $.02

I thank you all for the advice and book recommendations. I have read everything I could get my hands on in the last 4 days. I have a MC session on Monday and I am feeling good that we are moving on even though I spend my entire day worried and trying to keep the images out of my head. I am thankful that my husband has completely cut off every one and every thing related to the other woman. I have checked and am somewhat comfortable with things so far. HE seems remorseful and has been honest with me when I ask questions. He has shared things with me that I did not know and would not have found out so I guess it is a sign he is wanting to be completely honest. Do you think we have what it takes to recover? I hope and pray we do.
I really just want my life, my family and my husband back but I see now it will be a long and hard road. I am so glad I found this sight it has helped having some place to vent and find out I am not alone. Thanks again

Yes - you have what it takes to recover and yes it will be a hard road - with steps forward and steps back - but if you keep the movement forward you know you're heading in the right direction!