My WH rarely if ever used a cell before the A... and we got one to share and voila.... a few months later ... wh was having an A.

I have cell phone triggers, that is the number where OW called.

Now living seperated, wh only has a cellphone, it is a new one, the old one I think the bill got too high and wh never paid it.... another issue btwn us... but...

Ok the been a long time thing, it has now been 18 and 1/2 months of seperation and I do feel m y love bank withdrawing. I had so much love for wh in the beginning I never imagined getting to where my bank was drained, but gee long time no h?

Anyway, some of you know my h has alcohol issues, I pray for him in this area, but worry it may have too strong of a hold.... He is making more efforts than ever before wanting to reunite, he says but afraid of my anger... blah blah blah. I admit to his irresponsible actions I have been one angry cookie most of the marriage when he did the things heavy drinkers or mock teenagers do while married and having babies.... such as ... not having money for bills b/c of irrespesponsibilities, nto being there for me, cussing , and drinking too much, not caring enough for our well being, or at least not taking action for it... he claims to care, but gee what do you do?

At times my wh has made excellent money, but then he will become a bum like character to me at least, only payingthe minimum it takes to get by in life... such as his child support right now.

I fear another a may happen for him, and maybe for me if we don't figure this out. Now I know I can deal with it until the Divorce and am only joking half heartedly, but I know that things will get better....

Gotta go, neighborhood kids stopping by and knocking on door while I am trying to do this and get ready for work?

H
When we go to lunch or etc. I am always worried about the cellphone... also all his new A time buddies call.

He has tons of new male friends that are his buddies, which he has never had to the extent he has now... I can see he relies on them as a sort of friendship circle and is alone now except for mostly the male friends, b/c no longer in an A as far as I know and I do believe....

<small>[ March 28, 2003, 07:35 AM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

Hi Honey,
I'm not sure what your question is, but I just read somewhere that 35%(?exact) of US adults use only cell phones, don't have residental phones. If your H had both, he'd be spending more money, and that is a concern, right? And you do like being able to get in touch with him no matter where he is? So, would the pros outweigh the triggers?

And it really isn't a decision in your power right now anyway....

As for your lovebank draining, when it isn't being added to, and separation, questionable behavior continues the drain is the natural process.

There isn't much you can do about his friends either. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> .

Take care.

Honey - I agree with Lor - most people have cell phones now a days - instead and in addition to a regular phone - and if he was having an affair why couldn't he just use the phone in his apartment ??? You don't live there - so he is probably using the cell phone as more of a convenience than for having an affair.. And you haven't approved of his friends in a long time - and again you cannot change who he hangs around with as aggravating as it may be ... And in defense of these people you don't really know them they might not be as bad as you think... And as for your love bank - I give you alot of credit - you have hung in there a long time... and I commend you on wanting to still continue - I am sure alot of us would have thrown in the towel a long time ago... I hope that your husband realizes what he is throwing away before it is to late - because you definately deserve to be happy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks Lor for the reply...

New friends are drinking buddy types and one has involvement with building a nuddie website, so I am just praying.. Power of the Praying Wife Book... for my h. But I do realize my H chooses these sorts of people.

Also my h just doesn't seem to get why his life is out of sorts, or why he is always short on cash and short on success in life... too stressed due to not planning for reality. But then again I may be measuring his success with my ruler, not his. Perhaps we don't want the same things in life.. although that is not what I truly believe, I believe his drinking patterns sabatoge the life he is capable of, and his denial keeps him in personal self sabatoge. Sad to see answers for one's you love and be able to do nothing to nudge them towards the answer. I guess prayer is my answer for now and for now on. Also there are a few things I can do... such as being supportive and etc.

My question, here? I don't really know- just feeling a bit frustrated and thought a post might help.

Progress is happening, but VERY SLOWLY>

Prayers are welcomed. I will try to write more later, but have a friend ready to go to lunch, thank goodness I have friends and my own self to focus on , not him!

Thanks, H