You, like me, are a FWS. When I was reading some of your posts on the thread to "marriedgirl" who is/was considering having an affair, I felt exactly the same way about all the negative effects an affair has had on the people around us.

I am very curious, how did you get your H to take you back? Or were you smarter than me and never left?

Jen

Hi , belive it or not I follow alot of your posts because you are a WS like me.

I think I am just lucky.My H has told me he loves me very much,what I did doesn't change that.

I never left, I don't know if that would have changed things or not.I wanted to leave, I wanted to go to AZ to get away from OM and clear my head.And my h did not want that. I had confessed the EA to my H and we were healing with that when I confessed the PA.at the ime leaving me was never a consideration I don't think,The night I confessed he said he forgave me. It makes me sick to think about it because I was still "in the fog" so it did not hurt me that much. But yikes to think of it now make my stomach turn I can't imagine the pain i put my h thru. I am surprised he did not kill himself, though he said he though about it except for the kids he couldn't.

Ah, you were in fact wiser than me on a few fronts. You confessed, rather than having to be confronted, which makes a huge difference in rebuilding trust. You were wise enough not to move out. I jumped ship and moved out when my H began to ignore me all day and spend his days with his 2 female friends and then come home at night and paw at me for sex, all the while stating that he had no intentions of recovering our M, that he wanted a Dv. He in fact suggested I move out, and I then agreed and did so to preserve my sanity. You also only had one affair, unlike me. I fooled around with (but didn't have sex with) two other men prior to my third affair which went PA.

Well, when I write it all out like that again, I guess I can see why I have it so much tougher, and my H is so reluctant to take me back.

If only I had been as wise and honest as you and confessed to my H, and had not moved out, things may be very different right now.

BUT funny thing, he still wants nothing to do with me socially (ie. during the day), but still wants to have sex with me (hence my other thread about sex). I feel like we've made next to no progress. I keep trying to set boundaries and fail. Okay, I'm rambling now, sorry.

Thanks for replying Euphoria.

Jen