hi everybody i don't know the terms here but im a new, young mom and i've just recently gotten back with my daughter's father. were very much in love and always have been, our only problem is he has never had such a serious relationship and he thinks im going to be unfaithful. it has never happened, but he really is insanely jealous. he beleives he can tell just from my eyes and body launguage and that of my supposed lovers. im young and very consumed with my daughter right now, but i also love him and beleive this is worth it. we are looking for an apartment and plan to be married next year. living together is supposed to help him trust me. i dont know what else to do, i've read all the books and am trying to talk him into counseling. he's had very angry outbursts about this before, but never becoming violent or anything.i love him and i don't know where else to turn. please help!

" Living together is supposed to help him trust me"

How does that work?
Is it because you will be under his constant supervision and he can insure that you will never have the freedom of movement one would need in order to cheat. Has he made the down payment on the chastity belt yet. Does he plan on giving you a key to the door so you can get out in an emergency, or will he hire armed security (eunichs of course) to insure your fidelity?
How does he know that you were unfaithfull? Was it because you were willing to have sex with him before you were marriad to him. My God, you even went so far as to get pregnant so you could trap a man into serving you for the rest of his life. If you were that easy why would you not have sex with all the other guys that he sees looking at you? Even if he is the only ones who sees them looking?
Why darlin, don't you understand that he knows all about women and thier inability to control thier hornyness? Hell, his friends told him half of what he knows about women and he is smart enough to figure the rest out for himself.
Does any of this sound familiar? Do you really think that becoming his prisoner is going to change him? He will see that as just another way to make him the butt of all the jokes boys
(not real men) tell about cheating wives. He has a terrible inferiority complex. He fears that you will learn just how much he is afraid of being a husband to a real woman. This is well past make believe and he is over his head in fear of failure. The anger is not really about you, it is about his loosing you to a real man when you find out that he is not one. That is why he wants you in the apartment. If you are under his control he can insure that you never come into contact with a real man,therefore you wont be tempted to leave him and show the world that he is not man enough for a real woman.
I don't know your ages but I woul hazard to ask, When does he graduate high school? Did you have to give up your graduation plans because you were pregnant?
You came here for help and I am simply asking questions not giving answers.
I will leave you with one more question. Do you truly love him, or are you addicted to him, or him to you? When you know the answer to that you will have the answers.
May God shelter you with his love. Jim.

Have you read "Buyers. Renters, and Freeloaders"? If not, you should. Also, my guess (and it is only a guess) about him is that HE is likely to be (or is being) unfaithful to YOU. We tend to believe other people are like ourselves.

<small>[ April 13, 2003, 01:52 PM: Message edited by: johnh39 ]</small>