Wh saying he thinks he would like to live with me again except that there is issue over our house, currently I have deal with my family to buy home, which I have avoided putting in my name during sep. b/c wh could try to take as tx is community property state... well wh does not want to live here unless... it is no longer in my families name, but does not engage in discussion etc. over how to solve this dilemma.. he has no steady employment now and drinks too much.

What else? We have nice home, good neighborhood, excellent schools.. wh does not take into account what is good for kids, period.

Wh is selfish>>.. gee is that a suprise, he is more concerned about living in location.. he likes etc...= right now he is in more liberal neighborhood with lots of partying, more of a 20s neighborhood, and we are in the mid 30s... whaterver?// I would not even mind a move if he helped financially.

All equity in this home is mine, my family only assisted with loan b/c wh and I had credit problems... some now and then due to my bailing wh out and hurting myself in the process... rarely is he bailing me out..

Ok, have I talked myself out of wanting him back?

There is this ache in my heart for our friendship, camraderie, etc. It seems long gone since wh cannot and does not provide financially as I feel he should as a h. Well downfall of a M. We have even lived on less money together than I now live on alone, but at this stage in life expected to be doing better. At times I have wked pt and stayed with kids, and we have balanced things out... blah blah.. feel like this is a major vent.

We have even been self employed together for quite a few yrs, but I feel this was a struggle b/c I had to be the driver, and Wh did not like that... neither did i like driving him to work harder.

So maybe all the goals, etc. values, etc. that wh said he had when we married and claims to still have are no longer his/ so we no longer share same life plan?

Wh is likely depressed at himself and therefore settling for less than he should in life, period.... Just do not know what to do over all of this mess.

I feel so shut out and WH just wants me to put on happy face, etc. No ow for now that I know of, but I fear he will have a new one soon.

Maybe this marriage is doomed, with only me giving the real effort, I feel it is.

Thanks for even reading this vent, having a hard time dealing with the reality of his not changing today... not changing enough that is.

Honey

Wow Honey - You do sound like you are really facing the reality of this situation...Though in your heart you know you want to be with your husband in your mind you are saying that you are a grownup now with children and responsibilities and that a stable environment with the house and schools etc.. is more important to you - though you did waver for a second about maybe a move - though I hope that you wouldn't even consider that until he has shown progress... I think that he has to get over the fact that your house is in your parents name and just be thankful that they were there to help when you needed it... I think that maybe he uses that as an excuse way to much... I just think and I know you never like my opinion but the bottom line is you can love him as much as you want but you cannot change him he has to do that.... And you deserve to be happy that is the bottom line... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />