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#1067897 04/14/03 07:24 PM
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Bear with me. There's some interesting irony here.

As background, my XW still denies she had an affair, despite marrying OM within five months of both divorces and she's successfully bamboozled my ninth grade son into believing nothing untoward occurred. We have 50/50 custody and his time spent with the "newlyweds" coincides with OM's custody of his youngest daughter, born on the exact same day as my son. They were best friends before they became step siblings. I swear I am not making any of this up.

His counselor advises me that he'll cling to any rationale that explains what happened so long as neither parent is assigned the majority of the blame in his mind. Keep in mind this is all compounded by the loss of his brother. It's extremely frustrating for me to constantly bite my tongue whenever an occasion arises ripe for me to explain what really happened. But I resist, expecting he'll eventually figure it out on his own.

In his ninth grade English class, my son was assigned to read Oedipus Rex. This is the Sophocles drama based on the folk tale about Oedipus, the son of Laius and Jocasta, King and Queen of Thebes, who was prophesied at birth by an oracle to grow up and kill his father and marry his mother. In their fear, the King and Queen abandoned the baby boy in the wilderness, but he was rescued by a kindly shepherd who gave the baby to a friend, who took it to Corinth, where he was adopted by the childless King and Queen of Corinth.

Nobody ever told little Oedipus of his mysterious origin until one day, after he had grown up, a drunk mentioned his adoption. Oedipus questioned his parents, but they denied it. Oedipus visited various oracles to find out whether he was really adopted. All the oracles told him instead that he would kill his father and marry his mother.

To thwart the oracles, Oedipus left Corinth permanently. Traveling the roads, Oedipus got into a traffic squabble and killed a stranger who (unknown to him) was King Laius, his real father. Soon thereafter, Oedipus's wisdom saved the town of Thebes, and he was made king. Fulfilling the prophecy, Oedipus married Laius' widow, Queen Jocasta. He ruled well, and they had four children.

Without going into too many more details, the story is really about the concept of predestination - even if you try to thwart your destiny, you won't succeed. I believe the "kill your father and marry your mother" plot is actually just a bizarre setting for the real message. The story is chock full of irony and symbolism, denial and disbelief.

In the end, Oedipus consults a blind psychic, Teiresias, in his search for who killed Laius - still denying he was desperately searching for himself and not able to "see" the obvious and relying on a blind man for "sight." When he finally acknowledges the truth, Oedipus takes his own sight in shame.

Back to my son. After reading and studying the drama, the class had various writing assignments about it. In one assignment they had to discuss any of the recurring thematic elements, or themes in the story.

My son wrote:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">...the most predominant of these is the contrast of blindness and sight and darkness and light in Oedipus' search for Laius' killer.

For example, when a denying Oedipus contemplates finding the truth in the face of the prophecy, he states, "I will start afresh; and bring everything into the light," and, "If you had eyes to see with, I would have said your hand, and yours alone, had done it all." And, "Living in perpetual night, you cannot harm me, nor any man else that sees the light."

Blind Teiresias responds, "And do you not see your own damnation? Eyes, and cannot see what company you keep?"

These lines clearly show the motif of blindness and sight and darkness and light in Oedipus Rex. Sophocles uses his motif to create a steady theme and constant irony. He is trying to tell us, through his ironies, that it is unwise to be so omnipotent that you are blinded. Oedipus, though he can see, is blinded by his stubbornness. However, Teiresias, though he cannot see, is very wise and "sees" the truth. In the end, when Oedipus finally acknowledges the truth and blinds himself, he ironically "sees" the truth as brought into the light and despite his new blindness, his past actions are no longer draped in darkness.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hmmmmmm. I think he’ll eventually get it.

I sheepishly suggested he share his completed homework assignment with his mother.

<small>[ April 14, 2003, 07:46 PM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

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Share it with his mother? WAT.. .come on now... you know she wouldn't "get it" anyways. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The tale you shared is old and true. Sadly, some things never change.

Karen

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way over her head...... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

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Evil loves the darkness. She'd have to repent (turn around and go the other way) in order to want to "see" the light. Chances of that, Dave?

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WAT:

More important than the subject of this thread... ...you have a very bright young man, there!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Regardless of what your xW does, your son will be fine. That's my prediction. I, Qfwfq, say so. Say so.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Qfwfq

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Thanks for reading, folks.

No, I do not expect her to return from the "dark side." My hope is that someday my son will see the light and appreciate that I did not deny him the opportunity to learn it on his own.

On another topic, outta here Thursday a.m. with my sweetie for two weeks in the islands - a real sign of my recovery. We may never be back!!

WAT

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<small>[ February 05, 2005, 05:13 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

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Wow!!!

You should have taken attendance for that class. Screw the cliff notes when we got WAT. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Youy kid sounds very bright. I am sure everything will see the light. And that which was hidden will be brought into the light.

My daughter said this to me when she was five, when my lovely wife and I were separated:

Daddy, you and I are connected by an invisible thread that can stretch but will never break.

Kids know so much more than we teach them.

<small>[ April 15, 2003, 01:40 PM: Message edited by: d_rose ]</small>


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