For the last few months my husband has been very distant and unaffectionate. First I tried to make him talk and all he would say is I dont know whats wrong. Then I got angry and started being very pushing. I felt like he didn't love me and I tried to make him do things to prove that he does. I finally told him to either love me or leave me. And he left. I am worried about him. He isn't having an affair or doing that drugs or anything like that as far as I know. He seems to be depressed. He is unloving to our daughter not just me. I was so mad that he wouldn't talk to me about what was going on that I drove him away. I should have been there for him. I feel like awful and I don't know how to fix it. I dont want to go on in an unloving marrage but i feel like my husband needs help, not like he really doesn't love me. I know he still loves our daughter. I told him I am sorry and I realize I was wrong adn I want to be there for him but he doesn't talk to me but once a week for maybe 2 minutes. What do I do?

Welcome to MB. Read the concepts section above and get ahold of the book his needs/her needs. You have not proved he is NOT having an A but your disrespectful acts are not helping develope a good relationship either. So right now you need to work on you. Your daughter should not be the one to suffer from this issue.

You can call Steve or Jennifer here at MB for phone counseling or get a good MC or IC in your area.

Right now you can't force him to do anything. Think about it, would you like someone to force themselves like that on you? I am not being mean, just want you to have some empathy.

take care and post back how you are doing.

L.

Sounds like my fiance. (I should say, ex-fiance)
He is going through a major depression. Mid-life crisis. Feels like he is not where he "should be" in life, and takes it out on everyone else. Claims I won't listen...but he won't talk.

But Orchid is right. You can't force him to do anything. My fiance said he was going to see a therapist, then all of a sudden he decided he didn't need to. I tried to convince him to do it, and it just made him more angry. I am frustrated, and sad, and upset, but I can't do anything. Unfortunately, he has to do it on his own, or at least reach out for some help...can't force the help on him. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Thanks for the replies. Yesterday he came over to see daughter and I told him he could do his laundry here. I ended up getting very upset and crying. He listen to me for about 20 minutes. I hate that I got so emotional but atleast he stayed and listened to what I had to say. After he left I wrote him a letter and expressed more clearly than I could thru the tears how I felt and that I was concerned for him. I also promised to not say or do anything else. That I wasn't going to give up hope until he actually sent me D papers, but I would just give him space while he figured out if thats what he really wants. He came over today and didn't mention the letter but I did what I promised and just had a pleasant easter egg hunt and lunch. He took daughter with him after lunch to his friends that was having Easter BBQ for dinner. When he brought her home she ask for a goodnight hug and then he ask me if I wanted one too. I know that isn't much but its the first time he has touched me in several weeks. I am still concerned because after he left daughter said she didn't spend the afternoon with him she went to a friend of hers house that lives just down the road from the friends house he was at. If anybody has any advise on how to cope with this or how to get him to realize he is neglecting her please let me know.