Not sure where to start really. Ok, well first my husband is away on business in another state. Comes home on weekends to see me and HIS two little kids. I emphasize HIS because if I divorced him, I don't know what would happen to them. They have no mother or other relatives. And I do care for them, but cannot allow the kids to control whether I stay. This business trip should last until December.
My husband has cheated on me several times- prior to our marriage and after. It is never a true out and out affair. It is a "friend" or a one month stand. Sometimes they are people he meets online. Sometimes he just runs into them. He has called the 900#s and the local date line numbers too. I know, but have little proof. He tells me that since our marriage he is always faithful. He knows I will put up with no more. He won't admit to sex with anyone, but admits to talking to women. I have no clue as to why he would change, but he says he has. Says he would not do anything to lose me after we have come this far. My gut tells me it's not true, but I don't have real proof.
This is mainly because he is also very very good at hiding things. He has a cell phone, but I get the bill. He knows I can see every call made so he has begun to use a calling card. That way I only see that he called a calling card number on his cell phone. He could just as easily use the motel phone. Maybe his roommate was on it at the time. I don't know. I asked why he was using a calling card back in January. His response that he must have loaned his phone to someone and they didn't realize he had free long distance. Good answer. But strangely enough they are doing it again in March and it's within moments of him hanging up with me. So obviously it is him. I thought about telling him that "some dummy was using his cell phone and a calling card at the same time again" but have not done that yet. He'd just hide better if he knew I knew. His other calls were to me or something innocent, like the movie theater. I also get the bill for his credit card. Amazingly, he has started getting cash instead of putting charges on there.
I also got onto his instant messenger when I found the calling card number. I fixed it a long time ago that no one could contact him or see that he is online. So it is obviously him that is contacting them. He doesn't know that much about computer stuff, but can certainly figure out how to find women. He also doesn't know that I know how to get into his account, but he used my name as his password! Ok, so I looked and he had added two women with very raunchy sounding screenames to his list. Another one had sent a message saying that she had added him to hers. All of them have profiles that are in his business trip zipcode.
So, I don't really have proof. I have proof that he is doing things that he shouldn't be doing, but that's all I really know. I know that he is very sexually oriented and is having trouble being away, but whether or not I am available is not always the issue. We have been getting along great, but that doesn't mean much does it. I just don't know what to think about this. Or how to encourage him to really change his ways. We were in free mc just before the business trip, getting no where since he denies it all. Wish I could talk to the Harleys but the cost is just too much. I'm tired of being a snooping wife. I can't find anything more than suspicions anyway, but I'm afraid to let my guard down and just trust him as he is obviously not trustworthy. I don't know what to do. How do I handle this?
