well i have posted a couple of times well on the 13th of this month my h told me he was thinking of divorce and so i spent the last 48 hours awake thinking about it and crying. then he told me that i was to far into being who i am. He also said that he couldn't go with out having sex (he cheated on me and i just can't seem to be intimate with him i have tried)i am seeing a therapist to get over it and to fix my sexual problems (but i guess the progress is to slow). he wrote me a letter telling me that if i can fix those thing that we have a chance.

then last night he sits me down and tells me that he changed his mind that he doesn't want a divorce that he didn't know what got into him and at the time i was so relieved (i spent 48 hours wide awake) then i just started to think how do you change your mind in a drop of a hat how do i trust that he doesn't want a divorce that he is just not wanting to cause an uproar i mean how can somebody who is giving ultimatums change his mind?

i mean don't get me wrong i don't want a divorce but at the same time i don't want to get my heart ripped out of my chest i am so confused and hurt i want to cry then i don't. i don't even know if this makes any since to you guy's because it barely makes since to me.

i just don't understand. i don't understand how you can be to much of yourself.i want to thank you guys for reading my ramblings

stephanie