I hope the title wasn't misleading as this is in no way a bad thing. My wife and I are discovering new things about each other and she is starting to open up more sexually. One thing that she has been asking for is that I be more rough and agressive with her in bed. No whips, etc. or anything like that (yet!) but rather just taking control. One way she put it, which seems funny, is that she wants me to treat he like a 'ho'.

Now I do understand that sex is something precious and there are times to have more fun and times for serious emotional attachment - this is obviously focusing on more of the just for fun times.

This can be a challenge as we are both Christians and sometimes it can just feel weird to take that role in the bedroom. I was wondering from women - if you like this attitude my men, what kind of things seem to work well? And for men, what kind of things do you do to help?

Nothing overly graphic please, just looking for some advise in how to spice up our sex lives.

One of the first things you should figure out is if your W responds to verbal interaction during sex. Yes or no will open/close whole areas of things to do.

Holding her arms above her head would seem like a introductory way to allow her to feel what you're describing.

Another is to touch, hold back, and then touch again. Like you're in control of your desire.

Then I suppose you could graduate to the rubber suits and bondage.

Why not just buy a book for a whole bunch of tips? (Well, other than the embarassment factor)

By the way, you might be like, "Great, I wanted a more active wife", but you might consider trying to better understand why your W is feeling this way. Jsut to make eliminate any warning signs and stuff.

from est - "By the way, you might be like, "Great, I wanted a more active wife", but you might consider trying to better understand why your W is feeling this way. Jsut to make eliminate any warning signs and stuff. "

Very True! The reason we are starting to "Open Up" more around each other is due to some counseling and an A she had. We are starting a long road of recovery and sex is an area which we both were wanting more. They way and amount we communicate is much more open now and it is helping.

Books are always nice but sometimes they seem to say the same old stuff, asking real people always gets good responses!

Thanx for the ideas also! </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Geeze, I wish my h would just give me more FEEDBACk instead of just lying there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> He likes it and initiates it, but then alot of times just lays there which turns me off. I don't think its that he doesn't enjoy it, he just doesn't know how to tell me he enjoys it. And he doesn't do that ALL the time, but many times.
I like participation!!!

I like to do it in "different" places. The woods, for one.

One thing that REALLY irritates me is when he pats me on the *ss. Its like patronizing and just pi$$es me off to the max. He can ruin a good time just by doing that one little thing. Then he realizes he did that and will rub it to "erase" the gesture. But it takes more than that to get me back in the mood. LOL.

Yes, I like my H to be aggressive at times which he can be. I'd also like it to last longer, LOL.
To me, if he's aggressive, not mean, not hurtful or anything, but pursuasive it means he likes it. I do my best to make him happy, but have definite boundaries, (no anal) which thank God, he hasn't had a problem with.

It doesn't happen too often, but sometimes the kids are farmed out to playdates, or simply outside and we'll take the time just to "play" ourselves. We take a shower together and if the kids pound on the door, just put the bathroom fan on so they can't hear us, and well tell them they have to wait as we are "discussing" something. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

In the last 2 years, we've have sex more during the day than the last 17 years of our M (ie since kids came along). That's been a HUGE improvement and I'm definitely liking it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

hope this wasn't too much info.