My H had an affair last year with a bimbo from work. He told me it was over, only to find out a year later he seems to be in an emotional affair.
He claims he is IN LOVE with her.
He has moved out, and we have no contact except seeing our girls at softball practice.

This past weekend he went to his home town, met up with an old flame from 20+ years ago, went out bar hopping with her, and his married brother.
If he is so IN LOVE, we he have done this with this other bimbo?

After this past weekend, I am to the point of not caring if he comes back or not, in fact, I'm finally to the point of thinking its time for an attorney.
His mother wonderful person that she is, was accomadating to them and let this woman spend the night in her home with my H. I have no idea the sleeping arrangements, but we are very married, and his mother let this happen.
My H is 40 yrs old, give me a break!

Any thoughts would be great.

Karen

Welcome. It doesn't matter whether he's having a MLC or an affair. He's being selfish and self-indulgent and his mother is too weak to do anything but enable him.

It wouldn't hurt to interview some attorneys, learn what you can expect in the event of a divorce, and protect yourself. Visiting attorneys doesn't mean you've given up; it means you're being responsible and taking steps to plan your next move.

And speaking of plans: Have you read all the forums on this site? (Plan A, Plan B, How Affairs Begin, how they should end, etc.)

I think it does matter which it is an A or a MLC.

Don't get me wrong the lines of distinction are fuzzy to say the least. With an A, there was probably something missing for the WS as far as the marriage.

With MLC its more like something is missing out of life in general and the distructiveness seems to be worse.

Do a little research on MLC, there are several sites.

Its funny cause my H and i are separated and there was an EA on his part, but he goes around snooping on me. Not a problem i have nothing to hide right. So he's checking the cookies on the computer and finds a site i went to called His midlife crisis and apparently was so taken by what he read that he admitted to me what he had done and mentioned how he fit the criteria almost perfectly.

I find that in my husbands circle of the MLC is characterized by a Tatoo, New girlfriend and a Harley Davidson. I should of known when he came home with a tatoo back in October.

KEB, at age 39 mine had his first A. Out of town working all week, guys at bar, bimbo bar maid. All fits the midlife thing. Then the second one which better be the last was for his 62nd birthday.
Yes, they have more than one midlife crisis!
Yes, they do have or get hormonal embalances!
And yes, they start to feel life is passing them by, they've missed something and they better find it quick.
He's not in love, he's trying to see if it stil works, if he still has it, and if he can be teenager again! Or 20 yrs old.
Mine went back to his old HS sweetheart, hadn't seen in 43 yrs! Thought they were in love and going to divorce their mates and marry. Two trips to see each other, two attempts at love making which was a dud for both, and they went home to save marriage. Found out they weren't in love, but fantasyland! And couldnt' recapture their youth.
In fact, totally incompatible. So it's time for old hubby's to go get check up. Sell the harleys, and buy a new recliner.
I would think after a brief period of thinking they feel so young again, they will tire out and be happy to come home and park again in their easy chairs. With remote in hand! LOL
And KEB, No, I don't think if your H was in love with ow, he'd go off like he did and screw around even if not sex!
I think he just wants to be 20 again! That will wear off hopefully, But I'd be calling MIL and ask her what went on. And thank her for helping her jerk son screw up his marriage!
Then i'd write her off my list of contacts!
talk to your H and find out just what he thinks. Ask for him to make up his mind, or move out and give it six months to burn out. No divorce in that time limit. But do talk to Atty and get your options and know where you stand financially.
God bless ,LouLou

Sorry I missed your replies, and I appreciate all of them.

I have been running my girls to practices, and have not been on the site.

My H pulled another stunt on me, and after his thrills that I wrote about, I'm about done with his disrespect for my girls and myself.
Our youngest daugther and OW daughter are about the same age.
She had her first game the other day. Only to find out that OW also has put her daughter in the same league, so I will be facing the b----- all them time.
He never told me that she would be there. He said what difference would it make??
Well, it would have been nice to have been prepared rather than walk in to the game blinded only to find her there.

My H is acting like such the stud, it makes me sick!
He struts around and flexes his muscles like he is something out of Hollywood.

I swear, he is in a mid life crisis.
He thinks he is something.

I will be taking advice on visiting an attorney.

We moved here 6 years ago. I quit working when we moved here to take care of our girls.
He has left me and I have no current skills, will have to start from scratch. I do need to see how bad off I will be.

Thank you again for all your thoughts.
Karen

How are you doing?