Last night I played softball with OM and had a couple of beers with him and a few guys from the team.

The OM used to be a friend of mind. My XW moved directly out of my house into his across the street and remains there.

This week is the first time in a long time I've had any contact with the OM. It is cordial and we don't bring up my XW or any real subjects.

I realized last night after talking with him about whatever that he isn't much of a person. He's one of those people who can repeat other people's stories but has little experience himself. He and I used to do a lot of things together, but I was always the leader. I never thought of what type of person he was before.

It is hard to explain, but I felt like there was a canyon between us in who we are. This is going to sound arrogant as hell but he is not even in the same class as me. I've really started seeing people and friends differently now. I see them much more for who they are and not for what they do.

He left early even though the friend he does everything with just showed up.

Stealing another guy's wife is usually the mark of a different kind of person, I guess.

I don't remember all the details of your story so am wondering how you have this kind of contact, but my imagined OM encounters always included a heavy baseball bat being swung repeatedly, so I'm pretty sure he'd be in no shape to drink beers after "playing softball" with me.

Hope you're healing and not minimizing/stuffing in feelings about OM.

"Cheaters always trade down".
I read this here when I first started lurking, about 8 months ago, don't know who wrote it, but it rings true.

You are a class act to be cordial to OM. I applaud you.

est:

Well my XW had something to do with it as well. Quite a few people can't believe haven't reduced him to a pulp. I'm 6' 210 lbs and a regular rugby player plus other sports. He is 5' 11" and about 160 lbs. It wouldn't prove much.

We play on a softball team at work with co-workers. I've been playing with these guys for 13 years now. It is a good group of people and also happens to be the best team.

Those who have followed my story no I haven't minimized or hidden my feelings.

He's got the XW and I'm not sure he even knows what he has yest. Come to think of it my XW moved out of my house and into his a year ago today or tomorrow.

Maybe he's the right type of person for my XW. They are very similar. She lives her life as a lie and the OM probably does too. That's not for me.

For me I believe in the motto it is not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. I make a lot of mistakes, but I try to honest and do the right thing.

My XW gets the kids for the weekend today. The OM will be out of town at a concert and probably golf all weekend as usual while she has the kids. Nice guy.

lablady:

It is not about being a class act, but rather wanting to enjoy playing softball with friends and letting everyone else enjoy it as well.