Anyone/Everyone.... Need Help ASAP - So confused and afraid.....
I have been married 28 years - and for ALL that time we've had the same problems, which my husband won't even discuss.
The emotional and mental abuse is destroying my health, my peace of mind and my will to live. I've already tried to commit suicide 3 times.
Here are the most important issues I FEAR.
For 27 years we have had NO goals - no financial budget, - we've lost out home, lost everything, went bankrupt twice, and I see him not learning a lesson from all of this still.
The Abuse:
Whenever I need him - he's never there. I was in the hospital for 4 days, on a heart monitor. I had no underwear and still he wouldn't even come to visit or bring me my underwear - His Reply: "I didn't want to waste the gas or my time."
I inherited $110,000 a few years ago. It's gone...besides everything else, I found out he had my Versateller card and withdrew $300 a day without my knowing. When I had the money I offered to buy him a truck but nothing but a "Hum-Vee" was good enough.
We now live 2-1/2 hours from where he works and he takes my car. I didn't even have car keys, or house keys until a few weeks ago. I just found out that for all these years he had two friends who were willing to drive him to work and back... One of them lives one block away and works at the same company.
I am a good communicator and even read him articles about what isolation can do to a person. When I found out he did have rides (all I asked was to use my car twice a month) I asked him why he kept me prisoner for the past five years. His reply: "I guess that's just the type of son of a ***** I am."
I could go on and on about the hurtful things - the lack of care, compassion, love, understanding. He does not communicate - he withdraws and does whatever he chooses.
I have been being counseled by the Woman's Shelter and I feel like if I don't leave I am going to have another black out and go for my knife again. I am too afraid and too hurt to try. We are not sexually close, we never go anywhere, and - though he's said he'd change - in the last 27 years he may go to a counselor 3-4 times and then always quits and goes right back to the abusive ways.
Now, he's decided to change again. I don't have the strength to try it again. I don't know what I'll do if I let him (or anyone) hurt me so badly again.
Please help - God only knows how???
Love and Light,
Gentle-Daydreamer
