yesterday my h admitted he wants a divorce, he said he has the papers the only reason he hasnt done it is because he doesnt know how to doit!
i of course am devastated, mad, broken, and im tired of caring, tired of holding on, i just dont want to do it anymore, he stopped by this morning just walked in like nothing, i said can you do me a favor he said what ? i said stop coming around? he just said ok and walked out i tried to call him back to explain, he was already in his car when i caught up to him i said hey i dont want you to think that i dont want you here i do that is why it would just b easier if you left me alone for awhile,ill leave the kids at mil so you can pick them up there, when you want to see them, and give her the money we will b needing she can give it to me,do you ungerstand? he said yes, i told him i need time and right now it would be better if i dont see you, when im ready to see you again ill call you, he said ok, i rubbed his cheek and said bye, he was crying.before he left he gave me a letter. he said how he couldnt get the thought of being with other ladies out of his head, he thinks about them wants to b with them and he feels it is not fair to me, and he wont b happy here at home while he thinks like that.he still says he doesnt love me as much as he used to, he stillloves me alot he says but not as much as he used to. so anyway i dont think ill be coming back here, i hope everyone has good luck with there lives,there is nothing better in this world than sharing your life with the one you love,and im so sad knowing im not going to b doing that anymore.being on this baord always gave me hope and i dont want to have hope anymore, dont wanna try anymore plans, dont want to try and understand, nothing im going to do maters anyway,im just going to go on with my life,mabey he will come back mabey he wont, but i just made sure he knew how much i love him, and that whatever he has to do to find himself, or whatever hes doing ive alredy forgiven him hes always going to b my heart, no matter what

I am sitting here in tears for you...

Don't shut us out. Take the time you need to hurt, but please don't shut off...

You need an outlet now more than ever.

We love you and you aren't alone...

malcswife,
I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain.
Please don't stay away, you can find support here no matter what happens. I've felt like giving up so many times, but I can't yet, not until I know I've done everything I could...
Now is the time to reach out and let others reach back, it helps us all.
I don't understand at all what enables our WH's to disengage like this from everything that is important.
It is NOTHING that you have done wrong, and that is the hardest thing, trying not to beat yourself up for it.
Stay strong, your kids need you, especially now and you need them.
I'm thinking of you...

I'm crying while I type your this malcswife because I share your pain. I agree with everyone else, don't not "come here", you will need it. I had to make the decision yesterday and file for a Divorce from my WS. I still love him, waited for him to come out of the "fog", but he hasn't and probably won't. I cannot wait, as if I do not have all of his love and respect, I will not subject myself to having only half (while he shared the other half with the OW). I cried when I contacted the attorney and more than once broke down. She told me that it was so very common and not to be embarrassed. I asked myself how am I going to get through this...everyone says it will get better. How and when I ask? Just remember, you have made some truly compassionate friends here, so don't let go. You will need their advice, their guidance and their counseling. Your H will regret his decisions someday, but unfortunately for him, it will be way too late. Good luck and God Bless You.

When the Lord closes one door, he always opens another.

I'm so sorry! I can understand though, sometimes it just get to be too much! It just feels right to let go and start healing!

But I have to agree with everyone else you need to post more than ever. Even if you do end up getting divorced the road is long and bumpy and you will need to come here and vent.

People here will support you thru this and everyday that goes by will be easier, that my new motto.

Know that we care!

i hear you and i understand just cause i want it to b over doesnt mean it will, i just dontwant to let him hurt me anymore, why do we put up with it why cant i b stronger and say fine if you dont want me than leave its your loss! ill come back if anything changes,thank you all so much for caring,i wish i could fix everything for everyone,i know i cant but i can say a prayer for you all, so that i will do!
malcswife

i hear you and i understand just cause i want it to b over doesnt mean it will, i just dontwant to let him hurt me anymore, why do we put up with it why cant i b stronger and say fine if you dont want me than leave its your loss! ill come back if anything changes,thank you all so much for caring,i wish i could fix everything for everyone,i know i cant but i can say a prayer for you all, so that i will do!
malcswife <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />