I'm finally "getting it", in regards to me being an ACOA and a co-dependant (hurrah! yells BrambleRose in the background <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ).
I have just completed a (3 in 1) book on ACOA's (by J. Wolitz), and am beginning chapter 7 of "Co-dependant No More" by M. Beattie (hurrah! yells angelia, b/c that means we can FINALLY start discussions on the book! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ).
Anyways... through my reading, I'm finally learning just how much I DON'T KNOW about myself, and how mixed up I was, and am recovering from. I am (again) at a point in my life, where I am finding myself doubting many of my thoughts and decisions, b/c I wonder if they're "right", or if it's simply me "reacting" to a situation. I am also starting the deep digging into my co-dependant behaviours, which includes being "controlling".
As my IC told me today, I'm REALLY starting from scratch. Not only am I parenting 3 little boys, but I'm also re-parenting myself, as I have to teach myself many things that I was never taught when growing up.
On with my situation and question:
As you may (or may not) know, I am waiting for my in-laws to contact me to confirm if they will be coming to my home on Saturday morning (May 10th) at 10am to pick up the boys for a supervised visitation with stbxH.
My friend who is going to be the boys' Godmother, is arriving by train on Saturday morning, just before 10am. OS, Eric, ADORES trains (and that's putting it mildly! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ), and I would like to meet my friend at the station with him, so that he can see the trains, IF the IL's won't be coming by.
I have made a firm decision in my mind, that if the IL's don't call by the time I go to bed on Thursday night, that I will make plans with my friend on Friday, to meet her at the station on Saturday morning. This will also mean I will have to drop the twins off at my dad's house, and possibly arrange for babysitting for the afternoon, so that I can get everything in order for the baptism reception on Sunday.
I do NOT want to call my IL's, as I feel it is NOT my responsibility to arrange all of this, and they have to learn that I will NOT tolerate any more last minute visits (I've had 7 years of them, and I'm done with 'em <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> ).
Am I being stubborn and controlling? Or are my reactions NORMAL, and not ACOA/co-dependant baggage?
Any insight or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Karen
p.s. I emailed my lawyer to ask how it would affect things LEGALLY, should I refuse morning visitation, so that I may do other things with the boys, if I don't hear from the IL's by Thursday night. I have not yet heard back from her, and that's partly why I'm here seeking advice and insight from my MB angels. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
