I'm desperate for a few answers here!

I've recently posted that my FWH's "lack of urgency" has me frustrated. It was suggested to me by a good friend that the thrill of "coming after me" may need some rekindling.

I try hard to keep myself attractive as difficult as it is with three children, two of them still in diapers. I'm a stay at home mom and I have to admit that it has crossed my mind that I may have become a bore to him. I believe he loves me but (as petty as it sounds) I would like for my H to break his neck to spend time with me just as he did OW during his A. I realize we need to spend more time together, but I'd really like it if he initiated that instead of feeling as though I'm chasing after him... you know... a little initiatve on his part would make me feel WANTED.

I'd like to hear from the gentlemen out there what they think of this and give me some advice on how to get him to see me as a WOMAN instead of a permanent, familiar fixture in his house.

ALL SUGGESTIONS WELCOME AND DESPERATELY NEEDED!!!

I think this is one of the greatest challenges in recovery. For me, a BS 16 months past dday and doing great, it seems like the last piece of the puzzle, in other words even with all the healing and rebuilding, a perfect record as to "no contact" etc, there is that lingering feeling that you want to be craved like the OP was craved, you want to be called three times a day like those phone bills showed, and you want to be the subject of lust in addition to love and loyalty.
You can't exactly tell your WS, crave me please, it has to come from them or it is no good. I am not sure if it is something that can even happen twice in a relationship, in other words it happens in the beginning of all relationships during the romantic falling in love stage and then changes to something less intense but more genuine perhaps. My approach has been to share these thoughts with my W so that she at least has the opportunity to address this need even if she has to "manufacture" it a little bit. Another thing we did was to take turns planning weekend getaways to resorts and stuff like that. Even though I know it is her "turn" I still feel good that she is making all the arrangements and surprising me with destinations and fun things to do. It kind of puts her in position to please me and I feel the love and the effort. Finally I have tried not to imititate the OM but to make sure that I meet the same needs he met, and in fact there have been many times when this resulted in her initiating sex, much as I presume it did during the A, however hard it is to contemplate that! Yesterday for example I took a day off from work and just drove around listening to her and acting happy (I actually was happy) just to be with her. A sort of anything you want to do kind of day, walk in the park, stop for lunch, no goals other than spending time talking and lisitening. When we got home we barely got in the front door before I had my clothes torn off! Be ready for the dark side though, in a sense you can't win, you get them all fired up and see how passionate and agressive they can be and while you like receiving all that, part of you will cry out, damn! that's what the OP got! Good luck.

Jack