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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 21
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 21 |
My wife ended a 9 month PA with the new year. She told me in March and that has been the last time we made love. She has told me that before D-Day ours was so that I wouldn't suspect theirs. (She even told me she needed his image in her mind to orgasm) OUCH. I could live without the sex while we/she heals but hugs and hand holding are hard too. Kisses are almost never and initiated by me. Last night she sensed I wanted intimacy and she asked 'Aren't you tired?'. It was 10:30. This from the same woman that closed the bar (with him) at 1:30 more nights in Sept. than she stayed home. I went for a walk. Didn't blast her with my thought. She knows I'm frustrated and guilt isn't much of a mood maker.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
WhymeinMN are you and your W going to counseling?
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 21
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 21 |
Yep, we see joint counselors and also seperate. My wife started seeing tharapist even during A. Has never wanted to end marriage. Now dealing w/ shame guilt and catching up on parenting and life issues put on hold during A. Overwhelmed and angry with me/us for letting it get to a point where she did this.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
Has she read any of the Harley books like 'Surviving An Affair','His Needs Her Needs',and 'Love Busters'? If she hasn't consider buying them and leaving them where she might pick them up and start reading them on her own. Don't try to force her to read the books because it won't work.
<small>[ May 15, 2003, 05:18 PM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>
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