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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474 |
H
<small>[ May 19, 2003, 12:38 PM: Message edited by: broken heart and arm ]</small>
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 270
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 270 |
Hmmm...
How to say this is going to be tough.
I know that you may have been treated poorly by your WH in the past, but it has been a year, and you won't let him go golfing.
To be honest, if you don't let him do some things he wants to do on his own and still hang it over is head, he will not view it as a renter's agreement or a buyer's agreement. It will be more like an incarceration agreement.
I'm not sure of his behavior in the recent past, but if he has been good, what harm is there in a round of golf?
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474 |
I
<small>[ May 19, 2003, 12:39 PM: Message edited by: broken heart and arm ]</small>
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 270
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 270 |
It's very relative...if he has so many outside interests that there is no time spent together, that is a bad thing.
However, I think that outside interests are a good thing in moderation. Not only do they help a person maintain their individual identity, but you will have something to talk about when he comes home from golf. I'm sure he would be pleased if you asked him how well he played, if he did better than his buddies, how the course conditions were, etc.
Mutual decisions are best, but this is a situation where you won't receive a mutual decision. You don't want him to golf; he wants to golf. Whoever bends is compromising, and if there is no benefit to the compromise, he won't be happy.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474 |
He's in a new job. I expressed concern that he may want to move out if he was still having the A because he would have less time with OW. Tonight, he proposed coming home at 5 so he could go to kid soccer and baseball games and then going to the office 9 -11 PM to catch up. I said I had concerns about that. He thought it unreasonable that I would have concerns. OW may no longer work there, but her husband travels four days a week and she lives 5 miles from his office.
We're a long way from POJA. Golf is not the issue, that's for sure. It's consideration and care. I did tell him I was enthusiastic about going to a Minnesota Wild game one Saturday. The issue with golf for me is it turns into a weekly foursome.
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