Ok so I have nothing better to do on a Saturday night then rummage through old emails, discarding ones I don't want or need. So I found this one, where I had emailed my ex-WH to ask him to wait until January to start the divorce papers. To just give us 2 months!!!
Here is the response I got:
I'm so tired of being in pain that I'm ready to move on with my life. I'm sorry but I'm not going to wait until the end of the year to file so we can both pick up the pieces and move forward. We
have both changed for the better through this and I'm thankful that we were able to change because we could have easily just shut everyone out
including God and become very bitter and hateful.

hahahahahhaa. He had changed for the better? So much so that I now know that he was still with OW at this time physically- since their OC is due in August. Boy oh boy- I wish I had known how foggy this was then!

It seems to me that a natural action of people who are having affairs is to feel two conflicting emotions at the same time. While it seems normal to be black or white, in or out, I think the trouble with affairs is that the division of the heart, mind, and actions is normal.

While this division is soooo wrong and painful, please don't discount the love shown during this time. Finding old letters can almost amaze you, I know I have been shocked by what I learned. But in the end there's some truth in everything written unless that person is simply a calculated liar without heart.

K

Karl