progress, but now this really f***'s things up! MNo one knows except for me, and my counselor. I don't think she knows that I am aware of the fact tho. Anyway, am about ready to plan B if he won't commit to me and leave her. He is also living with her and is laid off. I'm not sitting on the sidelines being at his beck and call when he can maybe get away to be with me and knowing he's with his pregnant lover every day. I know I should be posting on the other board but have been on this one the most. Just an update I guess. I am a lot stronger than I was and if this is how it's going to end then so be it. He's going to have to make a decision which he hasn't been able to in the past, so it will come down to me.

<small>[ May 21, 2003, 09:19 PM: Message edited by: day by day ]</small>

dbd,

Sorry to hear of this latest turn of events. How old is the OW. Did you see medical proof? Remember PBR and her 3 fako prego threats? I know all 3 weren't real but maybe 1 was but since no proof was given and she asked for 'CS' and medical coverage, I considered that a type of extortion because she never gave proof.

Did your H want to start another family or is this an OW ploy? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Don't settle for verbal info.

L.

I found the original dr. slip in his car. it's real. No he doesn't want more kids. She is almost 40. Has the same b-day as H. I found out. She's is not like the first ow she thinks he wants out of our marriage, and has been cheating on her with me.

Do you mind if I ask more questions? Is this her 1st prego? PBR was 45 almost 46 when this all started, she is 48+ now.

So how is he taking this new piece of info. Is it having a boomerang or slingshot effect?

Could it be that the baby belongs to someone else? I even gave that hint to the WS. Nuthead.... he then asked the OW if the 'supposed' prego was someone elses'. Boy that made her mad. She yelled at him for a while, then cried like 'how dare you not trust me'. It was a riot but at the time it was very hard for me. The more doubt I put in their R, the better I felt.

take care,
L.

No, it is his. am trying to write fast, my D. is here and she can't find out. Already can't stand her dad enough right now. Big problems there. She has two other children, D. is 14, livivng with Her dad now, doesn't want to be with mom at all, doesn't agree with what is going on. Son is 10, spoiled brat according to H, so they have major disagreements about that. She has joint custody, so one week on one week off, but former H. wants to have full custody and move away and have kids change religion. what a mess! No he's not thrilled. he's 45 pretty soon so will have to support another child for 18yrs. always *****ed about how he was glad our responsibilities wer over and blah blah so now what, knocks her up! Out kids will freak once it comes out. So will hers!

Well hate to say this but there is always a chance she won't carry it all the way. I am not an abortion advocate but if this OW has no scruples for even her current children, then who knows what she will do to this helpless one.

Prepare yourself for that piece. It may be harder than what you have to deal with now.

Are you planning to be his shoulder in this time of crisis or are you going to let him carry the full burden on this and not use you as a venting machine?

How far along is she suppose to be? The funny fact that your H was stating this thing about not wanting kids makes he think he knew all along (maybe the OW had threatened prego before) this could happen.

Fogtalk: Tell him to be happy he gets to give away more of his money. Don't give him yours or lessen what he owes.

L.

You can't know it's absolutely his w/o DNA testing.

He already said abortion was not an option for either one. She may be 6-8 weeks along. I haven't asked him. Don't want that much info. I already told him if he doesn't leave her I won't be around waiting for him while he is with his pregnant lover. I may not be giving up but can't stay in that situation. I already can't stand it that he is living with her so all I would be doing would be LB'ing all over the place. I've gone thru too much already, there's only so much I can take and I can't watch him be with someone who is having his child.

day by day...My thoughts are with you.

I am saying the OW may want to have an abortion..... you never know with these types.

Probably best for you to step away and let him get out of his own mess himself. WS in my case had to deal with that. He wanted another child (esp a girl) and PBR told him she was prego with a girl.... imagine that prego @ 4 weeks and she already knows it's a girl! Without even going to the doctor. That was another sign of her wanting more than she could be (making promises she couldn't keep).

I had to remove myself from that horrible scenario. He wallowed in it and when she accused me of causing her miscarriage (remember I to this day have not met her), I then realized, I had the 'Power' or at least the OW thought I had the power to cause great LBs from a distance. Wow. With that weapon of choice, I moved forward.

No I would never wish a child NOT to be born. In fact I would have worked with an OC if necessary. The preg/child site here was a great help. DbD, take your story there and ask for support and suggestions. Make sure the OW can't force you or even your H to give her medical coverage and CS before the child is born. See if she can be found to be incompetent as a mother. If so, then if she is pregnant, the child may have the option to be with a safer family arrangement. Sorry to have to say that but it could be that the OW in your case is a bit touched in the head.

L.

I think she is just a foolish person that knowingly got involved with a married man, even tho he was seperated he is still married and believed all his lies. she did find out about OW @ one tho, someone called her anonomously and told her so he came clean about that and she has been upset with him about that, on top of finding out about being prg. she is probably wishing he was divorced and not still married. He just doesn't want to be caught by either one of us and wants to think I will always be his safety net, but I won't . I told him I could accept the OC, but she would have to be out of picture, no going thru prg with her.

IMHO, don't even give your H the opportuntity of thinking he can bring the child into your family even if you would be willing to try. I did that and it backfired. When I told him they deserved each other then he became more reasonable.

So do you know who the person was who let OW 2 know about OW1? Hm.... might be a way to work more info.... think that's bad? Nawh.... that's was those Ws and OPs in the A want.... breeding mistrust. One of their trademarks.

L.

We don't know who did it, because my friends don't know her last name and they wouldn't go behind my back. My D. says she didn't and if she did she would tell her he has been involved with me for past two months. Only person everyone thinks it could be is the first OW cause she is very vengeful, but don't know how she would get the OW's cell phone nmb. So , a mystery, but I don't care, that is their problem not mine, now she knows he's not as great as she thought he was and has lied to her. Of course to him it's ancient history and shouldn't matter now, he's being true to her?? Except with me of course.

How do I transfer this to the other board? can you help me? Then I won't have to rewrite everything. Thanks!

Hi DbD,

I just got home and will have to run out again. Just my thought that if OW 1 is unleashed on OW 2, it might take the heat off of you and you can watch the catfight from a distance. Just a thought.

Right now you need to remove yourself from his mess and let him deal with it. Stirring up the mud? The option is yours.

L.

Just copy the link at the top of your page.

Put "[url]" in the front of the linke and "[/ur/]" at the end of the link without the quotes. Paste this on your other thread. Then they can reference it when reading your other thread.

Hope this helps.

take care,
L.

<< bump >>>

DbD.

How are you doing?

Did you get to post on the other board?

hugz,
L.

If it were me, I would tell her that he has been with you during this time also. he will lie and say it isn't true, and it is up to her to decide who is lying

Personally, I would be done in this scenario. Have you asked why you stay? he is living with a woman he is now going to have a child with. You are stuck with her *forever* if you stay. He will have visitation, he will have to deal with her for the rest of your lives.

I know that is not a good MB approach, but a child just makes things so much more complicated. I wish you and your family all the good things you can wish for.

Thanks Orchid, I copied it but didn't figure out to do what you did! oh well. Oops, forgot the url! Oh well, my head's been really messed up lately, I wonder why? Plus with all this going on my daughter and grand daughter are moving to Wa. state on June 3rd, I'm helping them and coming back home on June 18th. So just a lot of emotional stuff going on, but thanks for everyone's support.