</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by matilde:
<strong>

On my side I been making calls to look for a IC, but not luck yet on that, and also I been reading about AA here, and looking for places where they meet here. But I’m still afraid to go.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Matilde, I have been going for 18 years and it is a wonderful place to go. You will be amongst peers, believe me. They are the most helpful, understanding people you will ever meet. The first meeting is ALWAYS sort of akward, but after that, it gets much easier. They will help you change your life for the better.

One thing you can do is call the AA # in your phone book and tell them you would like for one of the ladies to call you. When she calls, tell her your story and ask her to meet you at a meeting. That will make it much easier to go the first time.

Hi Pepperband and Melodylane

Thank you so much for answering my post.

I don't think I got a severe alcohol problem since I was able to "control" it after dday. It's most a consequence and my way of runing out of my feelings and problems.

Anyway it doesn't matter if I think how severe it's for me or not, because is never going to be that for me.

Just to let you know. I indeed finally made the call here and requested for information. Not all women meetings here. But I got the hours and places 2 of them near me one a bit far but it was supposed to be good. If I don't like it in one of them I'll try the others. Starting tomorrow.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by matilde:
<strong>Hi Pepperband and Melodylane

Thank you so much for answering my post.

I don't think I got a severe alcohol problem since I was able to "control" it after dday. It's most a consequence and my way of runing out of my feelings and problems.

.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Matilde, I don't know if you are an alcoholic or not, but I will just tell you that most alcoholics are brilliant at controlling our drinking. We are masters of control, which always proves we aren't really alcoholics. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Normal drinkers don't have to control their drinking, though; it's just not an issue with them.

EVEN SO, I am only pointing out that being able to control it does not mean you are NOT an alcoholic. It also doesn't mean you ARE. It's not how much or how often, but WHAT HAPPENS when you do drink.

Hi Melodylane and Pepperband

Just to let you know I was afraid to go there, and put it on hold until tonight.

I just came out of there and wanted to tell you THANKS!!!!THANKS!!!!THANKS!!!!THANKS!!!!THANKS!!!!

And also Thank you Susan and Angelia for encourage me and helped me thru this. You both more than anyone know my issues and fears. And I believe this is the second best thing that happened to me in the last year (first one was MB of course LOL).

I have to be honest, I still don't think that I want to completely give up drinking (guess it's "normal"?), but I'm sure that will happen and I'm sure I'm going to keep going there.

I still have much to learn and much to give up. But one thing is for sure. I don't want to hit rock bottom to figure it out. And I'm glad I "found" this and the courage to go.

In the meantime... for this 24 hours I'm NOT going to drink!

Thank you ladies

Keep coming back!

PS ..... it is VERY VERY important that when they ask if anyone is a "newcomer" .... you raise your hand as HIGH as you can for at least 10 seconds!!!!!!!!!!

Let them see you .... then they will come up to you and support your recovery!!!!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'm glad you went to the meeting Matilde....

"Expect Miracles" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

We where to gym together...

I left and went to my parents, then came back to pick him up. Found him walking home and talking by cell phone. Asked fot the phone he told me NO. I said the truth. I was talking to her... Came here.

He came also, Asked for 2 more days that my plan A was making effects that he was attracted to me again, please give him time 2 days to start counseling adn come home. Told him not you end this right now or go. He left...

I'm out

End of story.

Want to drink but I won't

cya

Matilde.....I'm sorry for your pain. Hugs and love and prayers.

A

Go to a meeting every day .... you're vulnerable right now.

prayers

Angelia thanks those are welcome <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Pepperband will do, I'm stronger but not naive or dumb

Thanks

<small>[ September 07, 2003, 04:34 PM: Message edited by: matilde ]</small>

{{{{{{{{{{{{{matilde}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thank you Nerly and also for your words last night... btw I'm also slow... but I made my mind...

Hi gang...

Well I'm slow, I don't want to let go, I'm co-dependant, and in denial.

Well the missing link, the link that would hold his behavior together as you know I know now. OW still in the picture.

Right now I'm not in denial anymore. And I think it's time for a change.

A little backgound since I had my second dday, which btw was at least good to hear it from him. Finally! I'm not in the dark.

I talked to him, he told me he still into his own plan, wich was going to IC, purge his daemons, find out why he lies and chose btw me or OW. All in one date?? Heheheh he must be a very good counselor if he does that in only one date!.

It took me a lot of thinking and support to finally come to this conclusion. H is not going to decide nothing. Meanwhile OW and me meet his needs whatever those are for each one, this game can continue for a long time.

Well I realize that I'm not wonder women, but I know now that I'm not the bad person I used to think I was, and I have to respect myself and protect myself from further damage.

Keep in mind I still love my H, but this love meanwhile I was in plan A and he was getting in love with me again (before D was the only option, now he is not so sure), I was falling out of love, and the love I feel, is based in the past, not on today. I got my tank almost on empty.

So it's time OW fill all his needs and see how good she is in all that. She can have him with all his good and all his lies.

Some of you might think it's nuts, but really I have to let go and let God do his work. If our love was not based on lies, only time will tell.

But now, I'm out of this triangle.

Wish me luck!

matty, something made me look in here today. I usually look for you only in the ladie's forum.

I'm so sorry.

You sure you don't want to do at least 1 more week of Plan A before going to Plan B--cutting off all contact with H a for a while?

I'm wondering why he was begging you for 2 more days of Plan A....why 2 days?

Please respond in Ladie's forum.

I left my plan B letter

I'm following MB priciples by the book. Did plan A for 3 months until dday#2.

I can not keep at this. So it's Plan L since I told him to go and live with OW and make a choice + plan B (this time with the letter and all).

Been crying most of the day, but this too shall pass and I have not drinked a single drop since last tuesday.

Looking foward to the AA meeting tonight

Mati,

You are a survivor.
You are strong and clear minded.
You will succeed.
Think positive.
Hold on.
Pray.
And lean on your sisters.

Simmy

Hey Simmy

Yes I'm all that and I'm still learning!

As for me well I called In Laws and asked to talk to MIL.

She told me yes H received the letter, that he went to Colombia and will arrive on friday or saturday. Personally I don't think he is there but whith OW. That will be good for him. I told her H is still with OW that he have told me that, and I was going to start looking for lawyers, that I did my best and that now it doesn't depend on me.

As for me, I think I'll be looking for lawyers soon and try to reach an agreement with H for D. For that I think I'll break the NC rule on plan B but really... does it matters? I mean I'm going to D.

I'm going on monday to his counselor, and later to my own. Finally found another one and seems I'm going to need it now.

That's it for my side...

peace will come my dear friend, when you accept you've done all you can. and you have. work on you and let go of the rest...it is out of your control.

stay strong.

Mati,

What would be in Colombia? Job? Relatives?

Oh the lies, the lies.
And i can't believe they think we are so dumb or so naive or so in love w/them that we could never figure them for liars.

I agree w/Nikko.

Take care of yourself.

You are the most important.

We'll chat later.

Simmy