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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,541
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,541 |
I will readily admit recovery is going well...in many ways it has improved what was once a shakey relationship on the edge of collapse.
Yet when we hit a high note I suddenly find myself feeling very low.
I what to scream...."see all you had to do was talk to me...have faith in me!" Surely it had to be a better alternative than having an affair and risking it all.
Am I pulling back out of fear? Or am I sabotaging recovery out of anger?
The pattern is pretty regular...have a great few days then look out...wife evens says she braces herself shortly after we have had a good weekend or paritial week.
Is this natural...perhaps wanting to slow recovery down because the WS is so eager to put all of the past behind them?
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Dipping your toe into the pool of trust, and then withdrawing .... is normal.
It takes much more time than you realize.
Be patient and klind to yourself.
You'll feel crazy, but you are not.
This emotionality does make for some amazing sex tho, doesn't it?
Pep
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,541
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,541 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This emotionality does make for some amazing sex tho, doesn't it? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hmmm is that the motivation break up to make up? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Good I was wondering if it weren't the equivalent of getting really cold feet...like frost burned.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
Forgive me if I sound condescending but why is it that people in marital recovery beleive that they should already be emotionally healed? If you were involved in a serious automobile accident and you were hospitalized, would you expect your recovery to happen overnight? Of course not, then why do the same for something that is the emotional equivalent of it?
<small>[ May 27, 2003, 11:36 AM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 107
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 107 |
Stunned-dad, This is normal. I tried to rush myself through recovery in the beginning and guess what? Fell flat on my- well you know. I wanted to hurry and get to feeling better, thought I was being too slow about things. I finally realized that I was going to have to go throught all the different stages. I actually tried to "just get over it". Didn't work. I agree with TMCM when people get in an accident or have an illness, unless it's a 24hr bug, it's gonna take time,time,time. I kept thinking "what is wrong with me that I can't get over this, it's taking too long" when I was only a few months after d-day. Yes, a good day or good moment then wham right in the gut. It gets better.
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