I have now been legally separated from H for a few months and he has been out of house for 3 weeks.

I believe he has some contact with OW, if not sexually, at least via email and occasional other contact. I requested he stop all contact with OW before he moved out, something he would not do.

NOw, I wonder if I should be dating since H doesnt' seem to equate his time with OW now as a detriment to our relationship. I do.

Did any of you date during plan B and or separation or do you think it is a bad idea?
what are your thoughts?

uw:

It's a bad idea. If you equate your H's time with OW as a detriment 2 your M, what are your thoughts about you dating while you're still married? Stick with "single standards" is my vote.

Something 2 think about.

regards,
-2long

ditto

married people don't date period. that would just make you another WW

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by unhappy wife:
<strong>
I believe he has some contact with OW, if not sexually, at least via email and occasional other contact....

NOw, I wonder if I should be dating since H doesnt' seem to equate his time with OW now as a detriment to our relationship. I do.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm not 100 percent sure I know what you're asking here. Do you mean date a third person? Or do you mean "date" your husband?

A third person? Nuh-unh. Not if you have any hope of recovering the marriage.

Date your husband? Yes -- IF he is ready to recommit to the marriage and takes serious steps (ditching the other woman) to show his intent.

hmmmm tricky one.
I'd say if you feel like, go ahead and date. But you should be aware that from that point onwards you will be contributing to the demise of your marriage and that the chances for it to work out grow slimmer. But if you lost hope on your husband and your marriage, then I'd say, why not.

hmmmm tricky one.
Nothing at all tricky to it. If you are in Plan B, you are still married, you have told your spouse you want to remain married and you do not do things which married people do not do. You are still acting married.

If you want to divorce, then that is a different story, but Plan B is Plan B.

Married people dating others is cheating.
Separated is married.
Plan B is married.
Divorcing is married.

Very few marriages recover after the point that both partners are dating others and/or unfaithful.
Mine is one that did, but I regret that I brought another person--and more hurt--into the mess.

If you want to date, divorce first, then at least you don't have the dishonor and burden of infidelity on your conscience.

Date other people, No. But I have read about folks that begin going out with girlfriends, family members, being seen with men (even if it's your brother). But being very closed mouth about your life...if you have any contact, or have limited contact when it pertains to kids or finances, say, "I'm going out Saturday night, you mind keeping the kids until Sunday." When you drop them off with their bags let WH see your bag in the trunk too, don't answer any questions about what is other than, that's my bag. Don't tell him it's filled with towels, and you're just going to go home and read and post some more and sleep in the next day.

Can you make it appear you are dating without actually doing it? Sure. But don't lie, just give the illusion, make him wonder. Make him think he's losing you. He wants you both, just thinks he can always go back to you.

Can you make it appear you are dating without actually doing it? Sure. But don't lie, just give the illusion, make him wonder. Make him think he's losing you.
BAD IDEA!

MB is not about playing games. Giving false impressions is lying and marraige is about honesty. Look where lying got your spouse (an affair).