<small>[ June 05, 2003, 09:39 AM: Message edited by: lucidity ]</small>

Lucidity,

Wow! If you were my wife, I would take you back - if you are sincere in what you have written here. You're on the right track.

May God bless you and your family.

-AD

The road to recovery and forgiveness begins with forgiving yourself and admitting your mistakes and taking ownership of things. Mean what you say and say what you mean. As a recovering WS (we will always be recovering!), you begin to recover when WS can say they realize the things they did, the damaged they caused, and they are willing to make amends and work toward repairing the damages. I wish you well on your journey..it is a long one with many ups and downs. Life doesn't automatically get better...you have to WORK hard to make it that way. Best of luck!!

Wow Lucidity! I can only dream of my H telling me those things. It sounds like the two of you have quite a history! Don't give up. Hang in there and you will find that hope you were looking for.

I wish my wife would write a letter like this. Good stuff. Now, make sure your actions follow your words.

Nick

Lucidity,

My W never put it quite like that, but she too reached the point where she had reached bottom and reality became clear once again. Thank you for opening your heart.

Your words show your heart and if true are a huge step on the road to personal recovery and giant stop toward marital recovery. The road isn't easy, but what good things in life are?

What happened?

Lucidity,
I echo Chris, what happened?

I didn't have time to reply earlier and was coming back to re-read and your post is gone.

So, I'm going to go from my impression. Your post reminded me a lot of my H's first post on MB. We were in our 7th separation, he had decided he did want to be married, I had decided I didn't and was about to serve him divorce papers, which I did.

Since we had reconciled so many times and he had made all possible promises before and broken them, I saw no reason to believe him once again.

But...he did his own Plan A on me. It took about 3 months of his consistant, loving, changed behavior to make the real difference in my opinion, to allow me to try again. That was now over 3 years ago and we have a good marriage. Even the first year of recovery wasn't easy, it took a great counselor and for me, daily trips to MB.

If you want the possibility of reconciliation after all this, you'll have to do some work.

I respect and love my H for all the effort he has put toward restoring our marriage, and we both pledge to do 100%. We renewed our vows this past January with our pastor. I look at it in the scheme of 20 years together, a bad patch of 2+ years isn't that much of the total.

Even had we not been successful with our 7th try, I believe I would not have had any regrets about the effort, because I know I gave my best.