My WH has now moved out of the house but, at least for time being,is not going the UK to be with OW. They are still very much in contact, though. I now have an address and phone number for her parents with whom she is very close. Would you put them on notice of what their daughter is doing and provide them with documented IM's between their daughter and me ackowledging that 17 month A? Yes, my true motivation (I admit) is to hurt her the way she and WH have hurt me.

Brit's Brat/BS-42
WH-43
DS-19 months
Status: WH has moved out.

Brit's Brat

The truth shall set you free! Send it! It's called "the light of day." Just expect a HUGE reaction once it is received. But the Harleys are big on opening the affair to truth and the light. So go for it. As we all know, that person that we were dancing with in the dark at midnight, doesnt quite look the same when the lights come on at 3am!

In His arms

BB,
No, I wouldn't. You can. That is endorsed here at MB to out the EMR. Keep in mind however, they may already know. I have an aunt I am VERY close with. She is also very involved in a christian ministry. I always told her the truth about my relationship w/ FMM. In no way did she support me in those endeavors, but her love of me remains.

Thus your exposure may have little, if any, impact. It also may be perceived as a LB by H. It may have the effect of making you appear like an evil, bitter W and his OW appear to him to be the victim. He then may feel the need to play the part of her white knight and may even cause him to rush to her side and aid - to justify to her parents that his intentions by their daughter are honorable.

Good luck with whatever you decide. tew

they are likely to support her anyway, dont you think? they might get embarrassed for the shenanigans of their daughter, and put some of the heat onto her, but apart from that, I guess they will stick to her. and your H wont love you more because of that.
having said that, it might feel good! I mean, I'd love to meet OM in that dark alley (even if that may be wrong too and achieve nothing, but hey - it would just feel soooo good.)

Yes, I would do it. As Harley suggests, you should do everything short of taking out a billboard to ensure the affair sees the light of day. It doesn't really matter what your "motivations" are or what others think of you. ["bitter W"]

Just remember: Evil thrives when good men stand silent. Don't help them thrive, BB.

I exposed as much as I could BB- and yes, the A did end... but my wh still brings up how he can't trust me... because of all that I did in that exposure. Although he is no longer with eiher ow, but the one that got big exposure was the first ow... not the maid. However, the first one: I contacted both of their jobs, coworkers, friends, ws family, ow's husband, etc. I did not have ow's parents info, but at the time I would of contacted them.

In my case, ow's h didn't even want to talk to me... I guess he just wanted to believe his ww story and put his head in the sand.

I feel bad later, because this kind of behavior wasn't really me... the alarm blower, whistle blower, whatever.... But the A did end. My wh is still mad at me for these so called betrayals, and trust is what we are trying to somehow possibly rebuild now in the 8th month of weekly counseling. But my wh is still drinking, and you know what that does to trust.

My wh looks for any lb on my point to blame me with, and shift blame from himself.

I am now working on nothing for him to blame me with, that I do- so he will be faced with himself.

Alcoholics really have a big way of finding fault in others, that are their excuses to drink, and the reason for their troubles... But if you do nothing wrong, he cannot blame you.

One counselor told me- my lb's to the ow and ws when they were seeing one another, especially one that would affect ow, would drive them together = true in some ways it did. They have a common enemy and more of a purpose.

In my case, and in hindsight. I would of told no one that would be an lb to him... but that is just how my ws works... but I would of hated for the fact that no one knew... to have been something that helped them come together. I do not think I revealed this to the ow's h, he said he already knew and it was over.. and he didn't want to talk.... although he did not know the truth.... according to what I understand.

Anyway- Is is worth the lb? Even ow's parents will still love her, and do they know your ws from her and his high school days.?

I have been worried about you... and hoping you are ok. Us N. Houston girls have had some mexican food dinners lately- let us know if you want to join us, even with baby in tow. I have brought my kids!

Take care of you. Go to meetings, and get a good support system. I know you are strong, but this is one terrible thing to go through.

In my case, having it is wrapped with a second evil, alcohol, makes it even more terrible. But we know their inner turmoil is the true evil- how long you can put up with this, is only something you can know. I am at month 20- and no ow and there is more and more hope - but I am very tired.

Hugs, Honey