Just what could WS mean by saying to me, "Im not good enough for you"," You're too good for me", "You deserve better"!? We've been in recovery for almost 1 yr now she just springs this on me?, I don't understand what could be going on with her? There's more, but I want to start this topic like this and add in the details as we go! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Hey searching,

My experience as a WS tells me that is her way of "pushing you away". It could be feelings of guilt or self esteem. Do you know how long it has been with no contact? Could there be contact between her and OM or could something new be going on? I do not mean to alarm you, but as a recovered WS, that is a definite sign that she is telling you something. Are you in counselling? There are many signs and signals and it could mean several things, but it all depends on her and circumstances. At any rate, you need to heed the warnings and communicate with her....find out what is going on. Show her the love and faith that you have during recovery and see if she needs your help in any way.

Good luck and keep posting! There are many wise people here that may give better advice than me.

Well, it depends. If she is still in contact with the OP it might mean she is trying to end the relationship. What is her point? When she says "I'm not good enough for you..." what is the THEREFORE?

Of course, you know better than us what she is thinking. You know her and we don't.

Trueheart,

This is how she has been making me feel for along time, like she has something else going on in her life and can't ever put my finger on it! We've been living apart since Feb 14, 03 with phone/letter contact and I visit her and the children when I can, but she always raises questions in my mind and heart concerning her behaviour away from me. One of them is how she makes me feel taken for granite, unloved, insignificant, and like she is playing me for a fool again! She claims she has not had any contact with OM since Aug 00, but Im starting to get suspicious all over again, I've been getting lots of flashbacks from the past and whenever I mention anything to her, she goes to a isolation mode and I wind up getting hurt and things come back up again. It feels like we are no where now, she seems like a different person sometimes. Even now she has changed over the last 3 mos. I feel like since I forgave her she has me begging her for conversion, loving words, or just to call me at night once in awhile, but she never has answered my requests to well at all. There seems to be some evidence that is leading me to believe she is seeing other men! Evidence like, her stories not colaborating with what she is saying and not showing love for me like I do to her.

Follow your instincts my friend. If you suspect something, confront the problem in your mind and decide on a plan to deal with it. Don't accuse, that will be a LB bigtime. Tell her how you are feeling and the feelings you have about the communication and past rearing its ugly head. Do you have a solid Plan A? Are you still in Plan A mode? If she is out seeing others....it is going to be more difficult for you to get at the truth, but you must confront those issues. With a WS, honesty is difficult, at best, until we realize what the heck we have done to others and it matters to us! You may have to dig in and sift through some rubble on the way to the truth!

I do and I don't want to know the truth! I really feel that my wife wants me out of her life,(married 17 yrs, 4 children)she told me just before 28 May 03 she wanted me out of her life along with I'm to good for her.... Well I have to go everyone. In closing, the last time we talked was 6-3-03 (on the phone) I think I did some LBing alittle, but she did that silent mode thing and would'nt answer my serious questions, I felt like I was talking to the phone. Now it's been 3 days and she has'nt even called once to talk to and I feel I should'nt call her. Im always the only one who calls back and everytime I do this same kinda thing happens. I just want her to show me she loves me, not just tell me, and she dosen't tell me she does alot neither. There are more issues to mention between us, but I don't know how to bring them out, there are many that have come along since she move out! She was to come back home on 28 Jun 03 and the last conversation we had that didn't change she still wants to come home, but 3 days have pasted and no call to show me she cares.