Of all days for me to forget to take my anti-d, today was the day!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Oh well... I took it as soon as I got home, and I survived it all.

Here's what you want to know:

- H doesn't have to pay me any money. Nothing for backpayments owed for Child Support from January to present, or the money for the vehicles he sold, etc. Because we are both so much in debt, it "doesn't matter" to the court. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
- Instead of the CS owed to me for December, he's giving me his burial plot. That means I have BOTH plots next to Andrew... to do with as I choose. (my worst fear was that H would use it for an OW or something!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ).
- Child Support payments are prorated, and to commence as of June 1st, and will be eligible for alteration in 6 months, if income changes (which it will for sure, by October 2004, when his new truck payments expire).
- The FINAL sole custody order is now in place... and of course, it's MINE!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

And that's about it, as far as the court ordered stuff goes.

We went through various ideas and suggestions of mine, in regards to visitations. I'm still a bit foggy (dare I use that word!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ) on some of it, but it's also only temporary until the criminal trial is over (spring 2004, at the earliest).

-Only one carseat is available, so H (or his parents) will have to purchase another one, for the twins. My lawyer is looking into whether or not Eric needs one as well (a booster seat). If so, it will also be H's responsibility to provide it.
-if the boys are sick (or just one), I am to contact H's parents as soon as I can, in order to allow for changes to visitation. My interpretation is that this means either "all or none" will be going on visitations.
- if the boys are invited to b-day parties, I will be accepting invitations. If they fall on an access day, then it's H's responsibility (and his parents) to get them there and pick them up.
- I will be getting the minimum 2 weeks notice of when the next visitation will be... and even then, I can turn it down if I have something else planned (like our family reunion in July).
- I voiced how IDEALLY, I want to be able to talk these details out with H in the future. That is not an option right now, due to the criminal charges against H, and the bail conditions at present.
- NIKKO!!! I WILL BE GETTING THE BOYS' DISNEY MOVIES BACK BY JULY 1st!!!! (I have to pay for them... but that's okay.)

I think that's it... that I can post about online. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thanks to all of you who sent your "good vibes". They were felt!!!!

OH!!!!! This is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!! (I can't believe I almost forgot to mention it!)....

When H, myself, and our lawyers were in mediation, I looked over to H to talk to him. He wouldn't even look me in the eye! (go figure! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ). He didn't ask about the boys (I bet my lawyer beforehand that he wouldn't), and best of all (as far as MY healing goes).... I FELT NOTHING towards him!!! No anger, no love, no hurt, no depression, no happiness... NOTHING!!! Isn't that GREAT???!!!! hehehe... I'm healing gang!!! And it feels AWESOME!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Karen

Karen,
I'm really short on time but I wanted to reply to you.

YEA YEA YEA YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You go girl! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Maybe this weekend we can chat, on me this time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Love ya,
K

Karen, I don't post much but I have been keeping up on whats been going on with you. I just have to tell you how happy I am to read that all went well for you today. Just wanted you to know that you and your boys are in my thoughts and prays.
Ellyn

Topie, I am so happy to hear things turned out well for you. I'm sure the official FINAL sole custody order brings you a great sense of peace. You deserve it! You're such a strong woman to go through this drawn out legal process. I really admire you!

Jen

K,

Good to go. Glad things work out the way you wanted. Hang in there and take care of the 4 of you. Cya on ICQ.

K

Karen, I want you to know I am thanking God that u
got custody of the kids..

also am happy you made it through the court mediation..

praise the Lord it is going to be ok..
you glow girl...
you really deserve a rest.
now you can breath easier..take care and
keep on keeping on...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Things sunk in more last night. And as exhausted as I was, I tossed and turned. I realized so many outright LIES that H told yesterday, but in the long run, they don't really matter, at least in the eyes of the court. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> Besides, lying is my #1 trigger, so I'm more sensitive to it.

I was starting to feel anger last night. I'm mad that he's getting away with stuff again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Yes, right now, it's only money that he's getting away with keeping. And b/c I know that money is the best way for him to feel hurt, I think that's why I wanted him to have to pay up.

He claimed, while in mediation, that he was paying for his lawyer out of his own pocket (he was for sure referring to his family lawyer... but I'm not sure about his criminal lawyer). If that's the case, then I have to admit, I'm impressed. Why? Because IF it's true, then that means the IL's aren't enabling him by paying for him... that they're making him deal with his own mess, on his own. Granted, I still believe that FIL is sliding money H's way... he always has in the past, and I can't see him changing now.

And of course, I'm still stuck on the visitation situation. I HATE the fact that the IL's are the supervisors. And I HATE the fact that there's nothing I can do about it. And I HATE the fact that I can't seem to "let go and let God" on this issue. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Okay... vent over. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Thanks.

Knewjie: A phone call sounds GREAT! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I'll probably be home all day Sunday (father's day), as the boys will be gone for visitation. So if you're not busy, give me a ring.

ellyn: Thank you for coming out of lurking to post to me. That means a lot. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> And any thoughts and prayers are always more than welcome.

Jen: Yes, getting the sole custody in a FINAL order DOES make me feel more at peace. In this whole mess, that's really all that matters to me.

H2Y: I sure am taking care! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> And I'll see you on icq for sure!

SadEyes: I'm happy I made it through the mediation as well. I didn't act in my best behaviour... but considering the emotional tally this is all taking... I believe it was understandable.

Karen

As always, my thoughts are with you. Those boys are very lucky.

Are you telling me that your husband is forcing you to buy his own children's movies from him? Am I misunderstanding that?

You know, we have too many movies here. Do want any for the boys? I'd like to send the Barbie ones but I'm not sure that would go over well! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by nursebetty:
<strong>Are you telling me that your husband is forcing you to buy his own children's movies from him? Am I misunderstanding that?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You've pretty much got it right. He put 13 of the boys' disney movies into pawn last summer (to buy smokes, and to watch movies... ironic? just a bit). And he won't pay to get them out. He says he can't afford it (and to the best of my knowledge, he's still smoking a pack a day). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

It's okay... this is pretty typical behaviour for him. Money is one of his most prized possessions. And he'll only spend it, if it's on HIM. Gee... it sure would have been nice if he used it as a post xmas gift for the boys (he got them NOTHING), or a post birthday gift for the twins (he got them nothing), or the rest of Eric's b-day present (he spent less than $20 on him... AFTER taxes... and that includes the card! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ).

I'm just relieved to know that they're not "lost". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Most of the titles aren't even available right now (they're in the "disney vault")... and the boys, well, Eric, really wants to see them again (and so do I! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ).

Karen