I am at one week no contact now. Its really hard for me, bu tW and I are giving it a chance. I dismissed the divorce case, effective today. I believe that I was running away from my problems by having the affair, and that divorcing would be running away too. I thought W and the marriage deserve a chance. Besides she was at the end of her rope with me. She was telling me she is there for me to support me. I love my wife but I don't feel "in love" right now, it will take a miracle to get our love going again. It is a tough time for us now.
I knew that I would basically be living alone if I were to divorce and keep OP as my partner as she has two kids and lives across the Bay. Of course I considered living alone for the short term, to be with her after I graduate, but I was unsure about it and my divorce. Do you believe in the last week together OP introduced me to her kids, showed me her house, saw me every day, and even offered financial support...I was surprised, and affected of course. I won't lie to you, I still love OP, but I told her that if she really loves me, she would let me do what I need to do. I know you think she will quickly jump to the next Tom [censored] or Harry, I can't worry about that.
I need to focus on school and on my marriage for now. I am going through withdrawl now and I am still unsure if we can make it together, but we are trying. I bought Harley's "Surviving an Affair", we are going to couple's counseling and I have IC.
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