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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 732
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 732 |
Dealing with ONS followed by 18 mos. EA. Can't get W to see it as EA. She just thinks it's my resentment over the PA. Continued phone calls behind my back complimented with lots and lots of fantasy talk. She just thinks it harmless. Anyway I have printed some stuff from here about withdrawal from an EA. I am also including a letter that outlines my frustration at the situation as well as my tremendous unmet need for affection. SF is fine it's the hugs and touches that are noticeably absent. Anyway it will and is an attempt to educate W about EA and how much she is tearing me apart. I want to be prepared for reaction. And how to respond when she minimizes her activity as she surely will. Yes there is continued contact but OM is much younger and not really interested though I'm sure he enjoys the idea that she is interested in continuing. M 18 yrs. W42,Me 41,OM 31. 3 kids.
Any words of wisdom as I prepare for battle.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 95
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 95 |
^bump I don't have any words of wisdom, but I'll bump this up for you so it gets someone's attention. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 100
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 100 |
Anyway I have printed some stuff from here about withdrawal from an EA.
Just wondering whereabouts you found the stuff you printed about withdrawal from an EA??
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 16,412
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 16,412 |
Plan A and B are SPECIFICALLY designed to end affairs. Continuing to speak to the OM is a continuation of the affair. I think trying to educate your wife on your needs and concerns right now will not help you. Show her the care of a Plan A and that your marriage is preferable and desirable.....then if she will not end the A, move to Plan B. By all means be honest about your feelings....but DO NOT LB....and teaching her may be perceived that way. Also, please do not miss the opportunity to expose this affair. It should be done in Plan A, and exposure is the best way to allow your wife to learn without teaching....how the her community of peers view her actions. Don't make this so easy....the idea is to end it....completely. Without that, your ability to rebuild your marriage will be crippled. Good luck....we'll help if we can.
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