This is all new to me but I need to vent somewhere.
Supposedly Married (Happily) 23 yrs with 3 daughters - twins 21 and living on their own - youngest 20 living with us. We were actually marriage counselors for our local church during all this. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
Last discovered infidelity was end of Aug 2002, when WS asked for divorce after I confronted him about suspicion. OP lived in Columbia at the time. WS traveling sales person. WS changes mind and wants to work things out, says he has never contacted OP after this.
In '98, WS asked me for divorce - says he's not worthy of me as his wife. Admitted to one nite stand in '83 at out of town job related seminar.
Have been to counseling after 2002 discovery where I discovered that in '98 what really happened was another one nite stand with OP who sat next to WS in plane to business trip.
Also discovered several lies about 3rd OP and events.
Don't know if other EMAs - have been lied to so much - don't know what is true anymore.
WS has problem with being told he can't do what he wants, can't spend what he wants (2 Bankruptcies in 23), can't go where he wants.
Have been to MB seminar and have all the books and courses - WS refuses to do them - he feels all is well with him and we are doing good. Also has stopped going to counselling.
I feel as if I am in LIMBO and there is a time bomb ticking next to me about to go off at any time.
WS wants to control my comings and goings because he fears I will take off or find someone else.
When last EMA was discovered - FS had no job, no car, no where to go, and no $$$.
Now I have a job, a car, some $$$ and have gone back to school to be able to earn a better living for myself. WS wants me to stop being independant. He has stopped traveling and is working locally. Took a $200,000/yr pay cut. So now I have to work full time to make ends meet. Calls me 6 to 8 times a day wanting to know what I am doing.
I am hurt, confused, depressed, lonely and feel that I no longer love nor trust WS.
I have stayed out of committment to vows.
Fear being hurt again. Will not survive another blow. I need help and he will not allow me to get it nor go with me.
What do I do????
<small>[ June 12, 2003, 09:02 PM: Message edited by: EStig ]</small>
