Just a note 2 those following my story al these months:

I'm not posting so much these days for a number of reasons. Been getting busier at work, and don't have that much time 2 spend on the 4ums. Our R is getting better, incrementally and slowly, but better nonetheless. It's sort of hard to describe, but I've been feeling more "successful" by posting less lately. I'm more able 2 "listen" at home.

I got the pleasure of meeting "The Seekings" yes2rday on my way through their city. Great people! Like I said on SC's thread, it's 2 bad there isn't time enough 2 meet all of you! In person is so much more productive for me than just looking at type on a screen!

All my bestest,
-ol' 2long

<small>[ June 17, 2003, 10:01 AM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

2long:

I'll say again - I believe you will be OK. Not just OK, but I believe you will prosper emotionally. It is nice to talk in person. Thanks, because I know how it is to be on the way home, and stop after your mind has already started working on going home. You confirmed to me what I already though about you, and that is that you are a pretty darn good guy.

Only one suggetion for you right now after thinking over night. That is to practice stopping conversations that get out of hand and saying something like: " since I love you and this conversation is not leading to increrased love, I want to back out and finish it again when we can both get more out of it."

You can do better with the words than the example I used. We ( W and I ) both have done it, and it helps. Practice, practice, practice. You know what I mean.

So many things to talk about, so little time.
See you around.

SS

2long,

I am thinking of moving into a "posting less" mode as well. I had three months where I couldn't post of visit the board for a while....and the separation was very good for my marriage. There are sometimes when the board benifits our marriages, and sometimes where introspection benefits our marriage more....kind of a time to think about and apply all that we have learned and learn to listen more...to ourselves and our spouses. I wish the best for you.

SS:

Thanks again! You know, I was thinking about the same thing you suggest, and things SC is saying 2day on his thread. I've been better able 2 "listen" and "watch" my own behavior lately than ever b4. And so, doing what you suggest is becoming almost, well I wouldn't quite say "2nd na2re", but I'm getting a lot better at it.

One thing that stuck in my mind all the way home was what Mrs. Seeking said about her own parents' DV 25 years ago, and how that still affects her and her siblings 2day. I think it shows 2 go you that choosing DV is just as "heavy" a responsibility as choosing 2 reconcile, and that "living well" after a DV may just be as difficult as recovery (if not harder) - only the end results of recovery just might be a whole lot more rewarding than DV - particularly DV without proper growth (dropping the baggage and leaving resentment behind). The few that have had 2 DV AND recovered probably know what I mean even more than I do! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Take care,
-2long

Star:

Definitely! And so I'll understand if I don't see you on the boards as much for a while. It's good "therapy" sometimes! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-2long

SS;
You have no idea how inspiring it is to hear you say "my W and I have done it", (whatever "IT" may be), as it gives me hope to see that there are couples out there actually WORKING TOGETHER towards something...that is a feeling I have not had in a very, very long time! I'm very glad for you, and appreciate the reminder that there is hope and that there are great things waiting for us all out there!

Namaste!

SC:

Yep. What SS said works. All it'll take in our cases is a realization on all parties' parts (that sounds funny, doesn't it!) that we're all going 2 keep on keeping on, no matter what. We're all going 2 still be "family" no matter what. And since we're all "civil" now, why not work 2gether? Even if we're apart? So, it ain't over, even if it's "over."

And if that made sense the first time you read it, I've got a sinkhole in FL that I'd like 2 put on the market...

-2long.

Come 2 think of it... ...if it makes sense on the 2nd time around, could you run it back by me a 2ple of times??

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> 2long

LOL!!! I DID get it! The FIRST time, too!

Speaking of sinkholes in FL...can you arrange for the sinkhole to move to a PARTICULAR location in FL that I can give you? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> (I mean with all that hot Mac technology you have...) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Get what, did I miss something?

Did you guys tell a joke and I missed it?

Someone tell me what's going on ???

Anyone?

Where did y'all go?

2long?

Spacecase?

Orchid?

Pepper?

Anyone?

Oh, sorry, I had my monitor turned off.

Spacecase, just use a mini black hole, it's more final.

SS

SC:

No problem! The WHOLE STATE is water-soluble! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-2long

2long,
I read your tag line every day, and I keep wanting to change it.

Build a man a fire, and you'll keep him warm for a day.

Set a man on fire, and he'll probably burn down !!

There, now I've got that out of my system, and I can forget about it.

<small>[ June 17, 2003, 06:43 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

SS:

I do have 2 be careful when/where I use my revolting sense of humor, and sarcasm.

I used 2 have a bumper sticker that said "If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it!" I got a dirty look from a gal with an "Ichthys" fish on her back window. Made me feel bad, so I took it off.

But then, my BIL had a great one that said "I ♥ Elvira", only instead of a valentine, it had this detailed, full-color drawing of a real heart! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

-2long