My H will be receiving a letter from my lawyer later this week or early next, indicating that I've filed for Dv and he's going to be served with papers, etc.

He tried calling me 9 times last night, and a few times again tonight. I have not answered, as there seems to be no point in more communcation now. He actually left a couple of calm and non-relationship related messages tonight (his brother won a big prize in a draw at work and he was excited about that). I fear that b/c my last interaction with my H was a fairly congenial one (it ended with a kiss) that this is going to hit him like a ton of unexpected bricks.

After all the pain he's been through in the past year or so (his mom's cancer, my A, our separation, his dad's illness and passing, etc.), I fear this will be the straw that breaks the camel's back. I fear he'll have an angry reaction that includes calling me incessantly or showing up at my place, or he'll start badmouthing me to whoever will listen, or my worst fear is that he'll drink himself into oblivion, or even hurt himself.

Please pray that my H will have a calm and reasonable reaction to getting that letter, or pray for his safety and well-being and mine, or whatever you think relates to this.

I am not filing for Dv just to "wake up" my H, I am ready to live with being divorced if that's the result. But if you can also say a prayer that receiving this letter will finally wake my H up and help him to realize that he isn't entitled to treat me poorly forever, or something about if he still wants this marriage to give him the courage to finally take some real steps towards saving it, I'd appreciate that too.

Just knowing some people other than just myself will be praying about this will bring me some peace. I am really worried about how this will hit my H. I wish I didn't have to inflict any further pain on him, but it's just a part of the Dv process I guess.

Thanks in advance,

Jen <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

My prayers are with you.

God bless.

Jen, I find it very hard to pray for your side when God has made it very clear in the Bible that he hates Divorce! God's will is not going to be something that he comes right out and says he hates. If divorce does occur you should not be the the one that pushes for it. I will pray that God will show you what his will is. He does this thru you reading the Bible and prayer. Smiaj

Jen

I will pray for both of you and hope the outcome at least from this letter don't bring any more pain that you aready got...

Take care

Jen, in my two plus years on this board I have watch no other story more intently than yours. In my opinion you have taken the high road from the beginning and I will be sadly disappointed if it doesn't have a happy ending for you. I will pray.

sincere prayers

ayslyne

Jen,

God bless you and your H. I pray for peace for both of you. CSue

I would like to extend a heartfelt thank-you to everyone. I really do appreciate your prayers.

SMIAJ, I am well aware that God hates divorce, but I also don't think He would have me live my life out being treated in the manner that I am. I didn't want to be the one to file for Dv, but it has sadly come to that. I did not reach this decision without much prayer!

Walkingoneggs, I'll be sadly disappointed too if there isn't a happy ending of one sort or another too.

Jen

<small>[ June 18, 2003, 08:10 PM: Message edited by: Jen Brown ]</small>

My heart goes out to Jen hope brighter days come your way down the road.

Blessings, Jen Brown.
G-d is with all that we see as right and all that we see as wrong, and we should not be so presumptuous as to attempt to understand nor know the ways in which powers greater than us work, or to divine the ultimate end that is meant to be. Know only that it is for a good end, and place your faith in the Divine order.

Jen, I'll not only pray Gods will for you and H but I'll put you out on prayer chains.
Prayer is our greatest weapon. God's will be done.
Amen
Lou

Thanks SC and Ladylou. Wow, adding me to your prayer chain is such a generous thing to do, thanks. I think maybe my decision to ask for people to me and my H to their prayers may be a big part of why things are turning a bit finally. He's taking baby steps towards me. I've heard so many people here say that when they completely turned this over to God, that is when they saw positive changes.

Today I'm praying that our dinner date for tonight goes well, and that I'm able to find the right words to explain to him about having filed for Dv, and needing to know what he's willing to do to save this M. (I'd do anything to get us into marital counselling, and spending regular amounts of non-sexual time together.)

J

Dear Father God, I rejoice in Your might and Your strength Lord, and at the gentle touch of Your hand which has the power to soften hearts and heal marriages. I pray today for Jen and her H, Father, that you would bless each of them with open, compassionate hearts and patient spirits towards each other. I pray that they will be able to see Your love through each other and find the path towards a new marriage Father. I pray that you would give each of them Your wisdom at this time, to know what words will be a blessing to each other and which words might be better left unsaid at this time Lord. I pray that you would instill them with the hope that is only found in You and form a desire in their hearts to have a relationship with You, for You have a plan to prosper all who believe in You. May they both seek You and Your ways and find You through Your Word. Be close to both of them throughout this day Lord, that they may feel Your loving presence and guidance. I pray for Your will Lord and not my own. In Jesus' name, Amen

Jen,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Today I'm praying that our dinner date for tonight goes well, and that I'm able to find the right words to explain to him about having filed for Dv, and needing to know what he's willing to do to save this M.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My prayers will be the same

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">(I'd do anything to get us into marital counselling, and spending regular amounts of non-sexual time together.)</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You've already started to do the thing you need to do. You are turning it over to God. Now the thing to do is to do, is to seek the heart of God and I really believe He will give you the desires of your heart.

Bless you Jen.

Amen to your prayer too mthrrhbard.

Love in Christ.

S&C

Thanks for your prayers all. I think God wanted me to hit rock bottom again to see the consequences of my selfish actions yet again. My H received the letter yesterday, and it's left both of us at rock bottom. Filing for Dv and going after my H for more $$ than we originally agreed to is just another example of how foolish and selfish I am. As my H said last night, I don't really seem to know how to think of others first or empathize with others first.

It would seem that if I want to stay married, I need to tune out all of my well-meaning friends and family who have encouraged me to go ahead with Dv plans, and just listen to my inner voice, God.

Why does life have to be so difficult?

J

Jen - sometimes life is difficult because of the choices we make. You are making the right ones now and I pray for strength for you and your H as you go through this. Also, the difficult hard paths in life are most often the ones that are made with the right choices. Not sure if I'm clear on this but you haven't take the easy way out. This has been an incredible lesson for you and a character building one at that.

You are not the same person you were a year ago. This self-discovery has come with pain and a huge price but you will come out being a stronger Christian and a better person.

Life is hard because this isn't Eden. We live in a world filled with sin and selfishness. God doens't want it to be that way but there is another powerful force who wants to bring us nothing but pain and heartache.

You are going through a difficult time but God does love you and wants you close to Him. It's through these times that we can become closer to the person He wants us to be.

I sense something good will come out of this. God bless you Jen.