Ok I decided to start a new thread.

My WH and I are in the process of divorcing.
What can I do? Start plan b? Do I write a letter to him? What should the letter say? Confused!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Please help. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

STBXWife-

Sorry to read of your predicament as it must be extremely stressful with young children in the mix. Have you become familiar with the concepts behing Plan A/B? If not, here's a link:
Plan A/B

One thing I wasn't sure of with your case was the timeline of events. Is your Dday fairly recent? How soon do you expect this D to go through? These are all important considerations when deciding where you need to be with A/B as you certainly don't want to rush into a D out of anger.

Your marriage can be salvaged and, if the D happens, you can even remarry. I've read of people on these forums doing just that! Others have reconciled days before a D was final so anything can happen. Don't beat yourself up too much about LB'ing, just try to make positive changes for you and let the chips fall where they may.

The thing that most people miss in this whole process (myself included!) is that the single best thing you can do for your marriage is to recognize and make positive changes in yourself. You can get through this, just keep posting...Good luck to you and your family.

Thanks for replying litchfield!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> One thing I wasn't sure of with your case was the timeline of events. Is your Dday fairly recent? How soon do you expect this D to go through? These are all important considerations when deciding where you need to be with A/B as you certainly don't want to rush into a D out of anger. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dday was 10/02
Seperated 11/02
H file for D 06/03
I file for D 06/03 (regreting it)
Affair has been going on for approx 10 months or so, not too sure but, pretty sure.

STBX-

How have you done with Plan A? Have you had it implemented for awhile?

Yes,had been in Plan A for the last 2 months. And was going good until MAJOR LB two weeks ago.

But I've joined a gym, been lossing weight and toning up. I've stopped calling him, stopped looking for him, been going out with friends and trying to keep busy.

I've been just concentration on me. But have screwed up a couple of times and LB.

I just don't know where I stand now.

STBX-

Sounds like you're on the right path with Plan A so I'd keep up with that for a little longer, atleast until you get to the point where you can go to Plan B on a high note.

As for when to go to Plan B, it really depends on how you're feeling. If you get to the point where your feelings for him really start to diminish because of the continuing affair, then it's time to go to B. As for contents in the letter, use the "search" engine on this site and put in keywords like "sample plan B letter" under GQII and you'll find something. Keep taking care of yourself and not chasing him, he'll notice! Good luck.