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Husband's visit day 1
#1078656 06/22/03 12:35 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
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LunaDove
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My wh has flown into our state (I think) and still has not discussed what we will do in regards to visitation with our son. He has stated he wants to see him and his mother will be driving him down from her house. Neither of them have bothered to call to form some kind of plan and it makes me angry. I would like to know what is going on. I haven't talked to wh since father's day and then very briefly. He was suppose to fly in today but did not bother to atleast let me know he made it. Do I call him or let him contact me? I'm thinking of just going on a long vacation this week and avoiding them. They didn't bother to make plans with me, so why should I stay here.

<small>[ June 24, 2003, 10:12 PM: Message edited by: LunaDove ]</small>
Re: Husband's visit day 1
#1078657 06/22/03 02:41 AM
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Orchid Offline
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Doesn't sound like you are obligated to be waiting around by the phone and be at their disposal.

So do your business as usual and wait for them to contact you. If and when they do, consider their request if you can and if you can't....just say no. Remember you have choices also.

L.
Re: Husband's visit day 1
#1078658 06/22/03 05:58 PM
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daybreak Offline
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Luna,

Some excellent advice from Orchid. It would be sad if your H did not get to spend sometime with your son, BUT not setting this up in advance would be a natural consequence.

You could say " XYZ I am really sorry but since I didn't not hear from you in regards to your spending time with son, we already have our plans made." XYZ will probably say some mean and hateful things and you can say "I am really sorry, I wish that you had called." Hang up, walk away whatever needs to happen. These are choices that you get to make at this time, n ot him!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Re: Husband's visit day 1
#1078659 06/23/03 01:22 AM
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LunaDove
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Thanks for the advice. I haven't called them and I believe it is up to them to make contact. Because I'm not working, they think they can have my son the entire time they're here. H step-dad #1 warned me that H's mom was making plans for my son. He knew she hadn't called me yet. I will play it by ear. H is suppose to drive in on Tuesday. I think I will take my son to a movie. They never said a time and I don't even know where they will be staying. I'm also weary because this will be the first time I see his mother since he left me. I also don't know what he's been telling her. I don't want her yelling at me for his decisions or telling me what a bad wife I was.
Re: Husband's visit day 1
#1078660 06/23/03 10:25 AM
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I think a movie sounds great. I want to see that Nemo movie, but my YD is with her dad for the month. So will wait til she gets back or borrow a neigbhor kid.

I am proud of you for not calling!!!! I am sure that was hard!!!

As far as the MIL goes, if she starts in on you, say "I am following the wishes of YOUR son" or soemthing like that, put the blame back where it belongs, he did this he chose to be alone. Hold your head high at all times DO NOT let her intimidate you!!! You where not a bad wife, your husband made bad choices!!

Enjoy your day with your son!! I guess don't set around and wait for them, make your own plans and memories!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Re: Husband's visit day 1
#1078661 06/23/03 11:43 PM
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LunaDove
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Well, I finally gave in and called H just because I was getting overly annoyed and mad. Found out he will be coming down tomorrow with his mom and step-dad #2. I told him I didn't like being in the dark and that this truely annoyed me. He knows I still want to be together, yet he tells me he didn't think I wanted to know he had made it to the state. Anyway, son and I will be going to the movies tomorrow. Going to watch Rugrats Go Wild. We've already seen Finding Nemo (it's really good). Son will spend the night with husband if son wants to. My son is very attached to me and is fearful I'm going to leave him just like his dad did. Just thought I'd leave an update.
Re: Husband's visit day 1
#1078662 06/24/03 10:11 PM
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LunaDove
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Well, h came in today. He didn't get here until late which was good. I took son to the rugrats movie and had a blast with him. I didn't tell him he would be visiting his daddy today just in case something happened. Son was excited to see dad and wouldn't let go of him. Believe me, that hurt a lot. H tried to hug me but I didn't let him. He then told me he was just trying to be nice. I think it would have hurt more if he had. I talked to him for a few minutes and then left. Son will spend the night with him at h dad's house. So, I have survived day 1. I'm still hurt by all this and this will be my first night ever without my son. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> This is so hard.
Re: Husband's visit day 1
#1078663 06/24/03 10:40 PM
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Luna,

{{{{{{cyber hug}}}}} <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.
Re: Husband's visit day 1
#1078664 06/26/03 09:40 PM
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South Dakota
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Luna,

How are you holding up? Update if you would please!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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