Hi Jen

I did read your past post
I like the way you are so honest about what
you did. Are you seeing a counselor?
That is really helping me. I used to love the victim thing. thanks to MB I am learning what I have done wrong to mess up my life.

We have so many problems in our M and he wont talk or discuss anything. I came from a abusive home. My dad was terrible to my mom and she tried so hard to please him. They divorce when I was 16. I married at 20 to a rich guy and let him walk all over me for 5 years. I divorced him and never looked back. My love bank was completly bankrupt. This marriage was so much better than the first that I didnt see the problem until I got really sick and even very suicidal.

I am learning and making progress.
Your sex stories sound so typical. One time he was mad at me for spending a lot of money on my daughter for cheerleading and twiling stuff so he didnt have sex with me. She was a cheerleader for 3 years. He would last about 2 seconds and it was over. I would beg for him to take longer
Now I realize it was a punishement.

I dont trust him at all. He offered to change the oil on my car. Now it is broken. The plug is stuck and I have to pay for a new one. I know he did it on purpose. How dumb does he think I am.

write again soon

just wanted to be on top to see if I get anymore repies

Hi

Still want to hear from anyone

still hoping for help

Things can get fairly quiet around here on the weekends, it's just the way things are.

I wish I had some advice for you, but I'm at a bit of a loss for what to suggest. I guess the big road block is the fact that your H says this is the way he is, and he isn't going to change, so deal with it. That and the fact that you are afraid of him and don't trust him. I guess you have to decide if you want to live with him the way he is, as a family, and potentially put the kids at risk, or if you want to move into a separate home, and figure out shared custody of the kids, go ahead with a divorce, etc.

I also wish some of the other wise folks here had more suggestions for you. Anyone?

Take care txblondmom,

Jen

txblondmom, you out there somewhere lurking still?

Hi Jen
thanks for your help

sorry I have been gone. this college class is so hard. But I love it

Hope I get more replies. Thanks

Hi,

How are you and the children doing this summer? Is your H doing anything else that is getting in your way? Why do you think he is doing stuff like that (oil plug incident)?

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by txblondmom1:
<strong> Hope I get more replies. Thanks</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I was married for almost 19 years to a verbal abuser as well - my ex-wife. Yes, ladies can do it as well as men and the scars are just as deep.
YOU sound like you need to leave this selfish controlling husband and make it on your own - at least you won't have someone beating you up constantly!
Leaving my verbally abusive wife was one of the best moves I ever made - it takes TWO partners to make a marriage work, but it won't work when one of them thinks they're perfect in every way and then plays MIND GAMES with you (classic of the Verbal Abuser).
Sure, I know this is a website dedicated to preserving marriage, but when one partner won't work on the marriage, thinking they're OK and it's the other one who needs to change and do all the work, why that's just too ONE-SIDED for me, sorry.
PS - I also live in Texas. I left my ex-wife in Alaska with EVERY SINGLE THING we owned - better to live without it and start all over again than to try and get one single thing from her!
The Lord allowed me to meet a really wonderful sweet Christian lady who showed me what marriage truly was meant to be. Talk about the difference is like night and day.
May the Lord lead you to do what is best for you and your dear children
Harold

Hi
Thanks everyone. School is going great. It is hard but I love it. I had the highest grade in the class. (95) It is hard but I work hard. The kids love our little apartment and there is lots for them to do here. They are helping me out a lot.

H is driving me crazy. He came up with some "extra" money and wanted to take me and the kids for a day at Sea World. I knew the kids would love it so I agreed to go for one day.
It went okay the kids had a good time but he complained about everything they did - so it was
another eye opening day for me.

This part is bad. I bought a new purse and matching shoes at the first of summer. I got them really cheap at Payless. He griped about it but he also gets mad if I do not dress nice.
As I was cleaning out my purse I was distracted by the kids and when I came back my billfold was missing. I though I missed placed it.
Before the trip he wanted to get the kids some
school clothes at the mall my sea world and I reminded him my credit cards were gone and I had
not replaced them yet. (wanted to cut costs)

He suddenly "found" the billfold. And we got school clothes,
Still pretty mad at him

Now even worse. My discover card has been missing for a long time. I was headed back to school and stopped for gas. Most places around here take checks. This place wouldnt and I had no way to pay. Had to call H to fax a copy of old expired credit card and he suddenly found
the new one.

My world is getting clearer everyday.

You are so right. It is time to get out.
I stopped to see my MOL and she told me she
would have left him a long time ago.
Why was I the last one to see.

Starting a new post on new problem with plan B
Thanks everyone

Someone asked why my H does things to make my life difficult. Like the oil thing or hiding stuff. He also breaks any thing nice I buy. He claims it is an accident.

I know he does it to have complete control over the house and to make me feel bad about myself. and sometimes to punish me because I did something with out telling him or asking him.
Like buying something or even going some where

Someone asked why my H does things to make my life difficult. Like the oil thing or hiding stuff. He also breaks any thing nice I buy. He claims it is an accident.

I know he does it to have complete control over the house and to make me feel bad about myself. and sometimes to punish me because I did something with out telling him or asking him.
Like buying something or even going some where