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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 19
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 19 |
Hi everyone- I recently cheated on my H with my X-BF (I have a thread about it if you want to read) At the time I was thinking of leaving my H, so I think the X expects that I will and return to him. I am 100% comitted to ending this with him and working on my marriage. I have drafted a letter to X-BF- could you please give me your opnions on it?
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This needs to end. Regardless of what my marriage is like right now, the fact is that I am married, and continuing things with you is wrong. I’ve decided that until I give a true, concerted effort to make my marriage better I have no right thinking of ending it. I got married for a reason- I love my husband, and I owe it to him and myself to give our marriage the chance it deserves. Because of this I cannot continue having contact with you.
I don’t know that you will understand, or be able to forgive me for this- Just know that I am very sorry things have to be this way.
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
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Member
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
Great!
Leave this off. "I don’t know that you will understand, or be able to forgive me for this- Just know that I am very sorry things have to be this way. "
Doesn't matter if he understands or or forgives you. This is how it will be.
Also, don't say, "I am very sorry things have to be this way."
Kind of saying that you are sorry you are going back to your h. It's kind of a slap in your husband face.
Just leave it at something like, "this is the way it has to be."
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
Sounds good except that I too would leave out the last sentence and consider replacing it with the following:
'My decision is final and not subject to debate, please respect it. If you chose to ignore my request I will have no choice but to inform my H of your attempts to sabotage our marital recovery efforts'
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,508
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,508 |
no tmcm, that is a threat and just keeps the relationship going with om. The letter was fine, leave off last sentence about sorry etc. Simply state in a neutral (unemotional) way your intent. This is not a request, needs no reply, it is a directive, leave me alone.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
Sufdb, I beg to differ with you because the majority of OM tend to be persistant and WILL attempt to continue the A (especially the PA) unless the WW makes it totally and absolutely clear that her decision is final and that there will be consequences if he choses to disregard her request. Sure it's a threat but it's one that is most likely to be taken seriously.
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