OK, I should prob be posting this is A/B formum, but, there is more people here and i really need response. My H has been out of the house for about 5 weeks, 8 weeks approx since dday. I hvae been trying to plan A but I am having a very hard time, I will be ok until it is time for him to leave and then I usually start crying and pushingmy feelings on him. Yesterday I ddi
something very stupid and it made me realize i keep acting irrationsly, but it is so hard not to!
SO I think it might be time to go onto plan B as plan A is killing me and i think pushing him away more...especially after what i did!
I have wrotten up a test no contact letter to give him, I also told him I thot i needed no contact with him as long as he was still talking to OW. I told him it wasnt because i dont want to se him, because I do, oh how I do!! But I said it is tearing me up each time I see him. I also told him i love him, which he knows as I refuse to stop telling him that!

ANyways, I feel like i need to go to plan be, but I have not given plan A a good 6 months...

So confused!!

Michelle

<small>[ July 12, 2003, 08:48 AM: Message edited by: hurting12 ]</small>

Sorry about your pain.
Most women can't do plan A for six months. It's hurts them too much plus us men tend to become cake eaters.

You do want to do as good of a plan A as possible before you go to B. If you can ,try again to do it right. Even if for a short period of time. Then go to B before you lose all your love for him or can't do plan A right.

JMHO

That does make sense, I want him to remeber me as being kind and pleasant, not to remeber me for the negative i have been throwing at him!! It is so hard!! I love him so much and the pain I feel from him not returmomg it hurts me like nothing I have ever felt before!!
Michelle

is there something i could do in some form of a plan A letter??

Michelle, there is no such thing as a Plan A letter. He already knows you love him because you tell him every day. I agree with hurting12 that you need to do a PROPER Plan A. Going into Plan B right now will only be a relief because it will leave a very bad last impression on his mind. That is not what you want!

Plan A is a program of attraction designed to remind your spouse of your BEST SIDE. When you go into Plan B, THAT needs to be the last thing on his mind.

A good Plan A means: No pleading, no begging, no crying, no relationship talk, no pushing your "affection" on a person who is emotionally detached. I know it is hard, but you just have to get control of your emotions. Try focusing on your life and that of your children instead of him all the time.

I would suggest doing a good Plan A for at least another month and THEN discussing Plan B.

ty ML I am starting to lean more and more towards an attempt at continueing planA as I want him to remeber me as a decent kind person not a naggy annoying person! My intentions have been to act the way i should but when it comes down to it it has been very difficult for me!! But maybe I should try again to be the best i can be..show him I can do it!!

michelle,

I know Plan A is difficult. Very hard. But I really still believe you should try to do a solid Plan A before resorting to Plan B.

If you haven't read this post from NSR Plan A 101 explaining Plan A completely, please do so. I think it may help you.

Hi nerly, I think I have basically decided to stick with plan A..at least for a bit!! I figure if i can put fortha really good effort this week, i then am going away for a week, that will pass 2 wweeks and then I can go from there!! I have written a plan B practice letter andf also a letter of concerns about my children, I will give him the letter baout our children but thanks to yours and others help I will wait on plan B!!
Michelle