In response to a couple of points that Coffee made about guilt made when replying to my query about resentment. I didn’t throw my wife out, or file for divorce (this rarely happen immediately in the UK) when she told me about her affair. As I’ve pointed out to her , she gave me the ultimate slap in the face and in return, I paid her the ultimate compliment by still wanting her back. Maybe I should have done!

I think my wife has an enormous amount of guilt, and I think her decision to have an affair was a one she made almost unconsciously. If I’m to believe what she told me about her feelings, it was just a friendship that got well out of control when I wasn’t able to be ther for her. Mutual comforting and empathising which turned physical. The background to the affair may be helpful.

Things at home were pretty bad at home around that time. We were having terrible trouble with our daughter who is Autistic. Things were so bad that our daughter would shout through the floor at us if we attempted to speak to on another. She imitated my wife at the table so my wife had to eat in another room. All the abuse seemed to be targeted at my wife so my response was to take our daughter out for a walk so my wife could have a break. My wife thought I was taking our daughter away from her and resented the fact she didn’t misbehave for me. Going out as a couple was out of the question as our child would kick up something rotten beforehand. I suppose, whatever relationship we once had was taken apart, piece by piece.

The only things we were able to share were bad things – if it was something nice like going out for a meal, then my wife would do it with her lover (in secret). Later, she said he was her lifeline and the time she spent with him was all she looked forward to. She also reckoned that she threw up (puked) every time she returned from being with him, even if they just went for a walk.

One of my biggest worries is that our circumstances haven’t changed, can’t change, and we’re still likely to be sharing bad times (worse now since the affair). How can we put thing back together under these circumstances.

Maybe the affair wouldn’t have happened if I’d not made my own mistakes. I just don’t know.

In response to a couple of points that Coffee made about guilt made when replying to my query about resentment. I didn’t throw my wife out, or file for divorce (this rarely happen immediately in the UK) when she told me about her affair. As I’ve pointed out to her , she gave me the ultimate slap in the face and in return, I paid her the ultimate compliment by still wanting her back. Maybe I should have done!

I think my wife has an enormous amount of guilt, and I think her decision to have an affair was a one she made almost unconsciously. If I’m to believe what she told me about her feelings, it was just a friendship that got well out of control when I wasn’t able to be ther for her. Mutual comforting and empathising which turned physical. The background to the affair may be helpful.

Things at home were pretty bad at home around that time. We were having terrible trouble with our daughter who is Autistic. Things were so bad that our daughter would shout through the floor at us if we attempted to speak to on another. She imitated my wife at the table so my wife had to eat in another room. All the abuse seemed to be targeted at my wife so my response was to take our daughter out for a walk so my wife could have a break. My wife thought I was taking our daughter away from her and resented the fact she didn’t misbehave for me. Going out as a couple was out of the question as our child would kick up something rotten beforehand. I suppose, whatever relationship we once had was taken apart, piece by piece.

The only things we were able to share were bad things – if it was something nice like going out for a meal, then my wife would do it with her lover (in secret). Later, she said he was her lifeline and the time she spent with him was all she looked forward to. She also reckoned that she threw up (puked) every time she returned from being with him, even if they just went for a walk.

One of my biggest worries is that our circumstances haven’t changed, can’t change, and we’re still likely to be sharing bad times (worse now since the affair). How can we put thing back together under these circumstances.

Maybe the affair wouldn’t have happened if I’d not made my own mistakes. I just don’t know.

In response to a couple of points that Coffee made about guilt made when replying to my query about resentment. I didn’t throw my wife out, or file for divorce (this rarely happen immediately in the UK) when she told me about her affair. As I’ve pointed out to her , she gave me the ultimate slap in the face and in return, I paid her the ultimate compliment by still wanting her back. Maybe I should have done!

I think my wife has an enormous amount of guilt, and I think her decision to have an affair was a one she made almost unconsciously. If I’m to believe what she told me about her feelings, it was just a friendship that got well out of control when I wasn’t able to be ther for her. Mutual comforting and empathising which turned physical. The background to the affair may be helpful.

Things at home were pretty bad at home around that time. We were having terrible trouble with our daughter who is Autistic. Things were so bad that our daughter would shout through the floor at us if we attempted to speak to on another. She imitated my wife at the table so my wife had to eat in another room. All the abuse seemed to be targeted at my wife so my response was to take our daughter out for a walk so my wife could have a break. My wife thought I was taking our daughter away from her and resented the fact she didn’t misbehave for me. Going out as a couple was out of the question as our child would kick up something rotten beforehand. I suppose, whatever relationship we once had was taken apart, piece by piece.

The only things we were able to share were bad things – if it was something nice like going out for a meal, then my wife would do it with her lover (in secret). Later, she said he was her lifeline and the time she spent with him was all she looked forward to. She also reckoned that she threw up (puked) every time she returned from being with him, even if they just went for a walk.

One of my biggest worries is that our circumstances haven’t changed, can’t change, and we’re still likely to be sharing bad times (worse now since the affair). How can we put thing back together under these circumstances.

Maybe the affair wouldn’t have happened if I’d not made my own mistakes. I just don’t know.