I just added some new pics to my photo book. Take a look if you want.

http://photos.yahoo.com/bikermomx1

I guess I can say I'm officially in Plan A. I started last night and am making a list every day to add to his love bank. I'm working on a letter and will ask for your advise as soon as I have it.

Bikermom,

I am sure sorry you are here under these circumstances. I went back and read your other threads. Your daughter is adorable.

Plan A does not mean that you ignore this kind of stuff, ie: the porn and emails with old girlfriends and keep silent. Often, confronting them in a non-LB way prevents it from getting out of hand. My DH carried on an emotional affair online with an old GF that was clearly headed for a PA had I not stopped it when I found it. As his wife, you have to help him stop this before it spirals out of control. There is no advantage or virtue in remaining silent about this.

I also put spy software on his computer that recorded every keystroke. That way I knew exactly what he was doing and didnt have to rely upon his word. I think it probably saved our marriage because it gave me proof positive that he was being truthful.

I would also suggest putting the spy software on there before you tell him because he may start covering his tracks when you tell him what you know. I never told my H how I knew so I could protect my source.

I'm looking into the spy software. I also noticed a pattern when I think back to when he was 'hitting' on those sites. They were the times he was depressed (he doesn't think he is) and maybe I was PMSing (still no execuse).

He knows my ex-husband is a sex addict and I have huge self esteem issues. I'm working on a letter that will be non-lb.

Thanks about daughter...I'm proud to say I adopted her as a single mom...she was 6 days old when she came home.