Hi everyone, i am looking for some advice on how to not be jealous.

I have never been jealouse in my life and about 5 months ago experieced it for the first time my husband called my on his cell phone by accident and I heard him say this exact phrase "Damn and i saw the kind of chicks that were in there".

About 5 months ago i had cought my husband lying about any little thing like, what time he got out of work, how much money he took out of the account, how much gas he put in his car.. things like that. As each lye would accure i would bring it to his attention.

anyway around that same time he went out of town on a business trip and called me regular phone call you know how was your day type of call anyway we hung up.. about 5 minutes later he called back but there was no onw on the other side all i could hear was wind and footsteps... then it dawned on me oh he must have called back on accident..

I was curious so i kept listening. what happend was i would hear three voices one of them was my busbands.. they were going into a club.. i don't kow why til this day they didn't let them in but all i remember is that my husband said "damn and i saw the kind of chicks that where in there"

anyway i talked to him on the phone agian before he made it home and didn't mention anything but i was dying of anger..

i confronted him when hecame home he denied it until i told him i heard it all then he said yeah but i didn't go in they didn't let us but what worried me is that does he always go out clubbing when he is out of town i don't know, he said no but i started puting 2 and 1 together little lyes here and there i started to get really jealouse i didn't know what to think now everytime he goes out of time i get crazy jealous what do i do please help i hate this feeling i want to believe him but i tend to bring it up even when we go out here together i tell him which chick do you like here huh?? and the fight starts over agian i just don't want to drive him crazy i really believe that he hasn'r cheated on me but i need to get over this so i don'tgo crazy myself

Hon, I don't think the problem is you being jealous. I think you have a very valid reason for being nervous. For whatever reason, many of us women have been given the notion that if our hackles are up...we're just being jealous. I think this board is a perfect example of what CAN and DOES happen, so there is obviously good reason to worry!

Don't ignore your suspicions...they have atleast SOME base. For one, you're husband isn't too worried about your feelings of safety in the marraige or he wouldn't be out CLUBBING! You don't get to be married and still go out like you're a bachelor. It sounds like that's exactly what he's doing. Whether or not he's actually gotten sexual with someone is hard to say without some proof...but it does sound like he's out there "dating" past the boundries of the marital contract.

Even if he HASN'T taken it too far, he's set up for the opportunity to present itself. Just because he may not have accepted a proposal yet, doesn't mean he couldn't in the future.

His current actions are dangerous to your marriage. I would definatly worry if I were you.