My husband works the night shift and is usually home by 1:15 at the absolute latest. From around 10:00 PM on, I tried a few times to reach him via instant messener and when that didn't work, I called his office a few times. We usually talk for awhile every night via instant messenger, so something just didn't seem quite right when I was unable to get a hold of him. So, I was really worried about him, but then as it got later and later I started to think that he must have just gone to a bar because he's had a history of doing that in the past, although the last time I know about him doing it was a few months ago (prior to last night). So, to make a long story short, I wasn't able to sleep because I was stressed out about where he might be, and he finally comes home at 3:15 AM! I very calmly asked him where he'd been, and he within a minute or so admitted that he had met up with one of his guy friends at a bar. He had left work two hours early at 10:30 to go do this. I was really tired, so we didn't talk much about it before going to sleep. Today, I mentioned it again, and he basically insinuated that I was over reacting saying "It's not like I was out f...ing someone". Nice, huh? He doesn't seem to have much to say about the whole thing other then, You're right, I shouldn't have done it, and I'm sorry. But, no promises that he won't do it again. You'd think that he could have AT LEAST called me to let me know where he was, so that I wouldn't stay up worrying about him. I'm just getting to be so fed up with all his crap. After he cheated on me, he agreed with me no more going to bars unless we could find a babysitter to watch our daughter, while the two of us go to the bar together and/or meet a group of mutual friends there. I'm not into the bar scene at all really anyways, so I thought this was more than a fair compromise, which he agreed to, and then has broken several times since March when he asked me to try to reconcile with him. (He cheated on me in February). I just don't know what to do, or how much I can take this anymore. He knows how bad he's hurt me already, and yet he continues to do things that I consider to disrespectful to me. I'm about to the point now where I'm starting to think of a plan of how I could divorce him, but then I think of our sweet little 5-year-old daughter. I've heard divorce is so hard on kids, and I don't want to put her through that. On the other hands, I've got friends telling me the best thing for her is to have a happy mother, and that I can't be happy if I'm married to someone that just continually mistreats me. In an ideal world, he would change, but after last night I don't see that happening anytime soon. I've thought of asking him to leave and go stay with his parents, but that would leave me here with no car (we only have one) which wouldn't be very practical. Not to mention, I don't want my daughter to be all stressed out and sad about why isn't daddy here anymore. I need to show him SOMEHOW though that I will not tolerate him blatantly disrespecting me anymore. Any thoughts/suggestions?
