Hi there - Star* suggested to me that you could help me -
... Sorry - this is long...
First some important background info: 9/4 - H left for a 5 weeks trip to Spain
18/4 - H slept with OW for the first time and was
with her day/night the next 4 weeks´until...
14/5 - H came back to Denmark - told me he loved me - we made love - I had a few wonderful days even though I was suspicious he had an A.
18/5 - I asked H if he had an affair and he admitted.
20/5 - WH says he's in love with OW (they share interests and views on things important to WH - I know now!) -
WH says he is not in love with me anymore and has been unhappy with our marriage for years. He don't think I can change (I know I have issues and I promise to him that I'll do anything to work on M) He said: Do the changes for YOU then. He said it'll NEVER work out with me and him... too many bad years - and a lot of other hurtful things.
I cried a lot then - begged WH to go to counseling and stay married.
24/5 - I think... I found MB. Plan A from the next day! One angry outburst and acting VERY independent.
4/6 - WH filed the separation papers (I refused to sign)
10/6 - WH moved to his mothers basement on my request. (he wanted me to leave our home, but that didn't seem fair to me)
12/6 - I send an E-mail to OW telling her I love my husband and will do what ever it takes to restore my M.
28/6 - OW came to Denmark to live with H for a period of 3 months at least. She's from Australia.
4/7 Legal separation. WH calls me a "Big *$$hole" in the city office when I ask for sole custody. I agree on joint custody.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />
NOW: Our 13 yo son visits his dad - OW lives there and it's been ok for him even though I don't approve him seeing her - S lives with me and we are doing fine - S has only been with WH 5 days during the last month and WH never calls S.
WH avoided contact with me since OW came here but I've been nice to him (Plan A) ever since so he has been more relaxed with me lately. Now he calls from time to time to get my help with the computer - to set up schedule for visitation - to talk about our dog - even asked me if he could 'rent' my car a week in august.
I love my WH deeply. I will not let him rent or borrow my car though.
I'm in a position where I feel that he has to fall in love with me again and I need him to see that I love him and that I am willing to change and get rid of my bad habits. I think I'm strong enough to do a perfect Plan A/180 (like lostva did) and maybe win him back that way.
We didn't spend enough time together before the A and that was just one of the problems in our M... I really think he doesn't love me now - and that Plan B would do nothing but add further detachment - the only 'evidence' of love I have is the cell phone message he sent me after a week in Spain where he told me that he loved me deeply and would love me forever.... and of course the fact that we've been married 14 years and none of us cheated before.
180, The "lostva plan" - or Plan B???? Your opinion would be very much appreciated <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
