I told our D the other day that OM was not allowed at our house and that she and W were not allowed at OM's house. I know this confused her but I was frustrated and said this when I was upset. I don't think that this was a mistake.

I think my mistake was telling D not to tell W that I said it.

Well...

You are dead on not to allow OM in your home...
did daughter need this info...probably not..too young...

Perfectly reasonable to expect daughter not be around OM...

does wife see it as a LB...perhaps...

Is it??????

Absolutely not...it is reasonable to not welcome in to your personal space a person infringing on your vows....and to not want your daughter exposed to a 'friendship that is not healthy to the marriage....

leave four year old out of it...

never ever tell your daughter not to tell her mother something...ever...unless it involves...
water balloons, jumping on the furniture, candy for dinner....or clippers and a pet...these things moms really don't "need" to know about..

BUT...big issues like this...are never to be spoken of with a four year old ...followed with don't tell mom...

apoligize to wife for this one...telling a four year old...
stand your ground on this man not being welcome in your home...
offer to tell him so yourself...

you made one other mistake...you double posted... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

ARK

I tried to add a sentence to my post, when I refreshed I only saw one post.

When I logged on a second ago, I saw the second post.

Mike,
I would have told her the same thing, she needs to know this so she can alert you in case it happens.

The only thing I see wrong is that you told her not to tell your W. You were perfectly correct to tell your D this and had no reason to tell her to hide.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MikeinVA:
<strong>I think my mistake was telling D not to tell W that I said it.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, you put your D in the middle. if you don't want WW to know, don't say anything to D. Never ask your D to "betray" her mom and never put your D in position to "betray" you. She is just a kid.

-rh-

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MikeinVA:
<strong>I told our D the other day that OM was not allowed at our house and that she and W were not allowed at OM's house. I know this confused her but I was frustrated and said this when I was upset. I don't think that this was a mistake.

I think my mistake was telling D not to tell W that I said it.

D is only 4. How do I undo the confusion I caused D?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

What is she confused about, Mike?

D is confused because OM is not my friend, but he is W's friend and Sarah's friend.

D asked me if I was going to meet OM and I said I don't know. D asked me if OM was going to by my friend and I told her I didn't think so.

I feel like W has totally screwed D's mind up witht this A.