I haven’t visit or read on this forum for a while, but decided to give a short update today:

Currently me and my H are focusing on a very emotional and difficult issue. Medically we are unable to have children and our only chance to ever have our own child is through a process called ICSI. It’s more or less the same as in-vitro, but technologically more advanced and much more expensive. We decided to give it a chance and will go for this procedure within this year. We already consider it for 2 years now. Maybe this will be God’s will and the path for us to follow in order to have our own child.

Regarding recovery from my EA: As a FWW who ended the friendship with OM ten months ago, I still struggle with residual and lingering feelings for OM. Since the last time he tried to contact me through e-mail (during April), he didn’t try to contact me again and luckily I didn’t bumped into him or saw him accidentally again since then. It’s already 3 and a half months since then. Sometimes I’m not thinking of him for a while and just when I think there is some good progress, I have a setback again and struggle to keep him out of my mind and thoughts for a day or two… This is so frustrating because I love my H and my marriage is very important to me, but I've already learned to accept and adapt to this. It’s not such a big issue to me anymore and I try to be patient with myself. Although my progress takes long and feels so very slow sometimes, I can really feel and see the progress if I look back over the past 10 months and I trust it will just get better with time. I’ve experienced that as long I don’t have contact with OM and succeeding in avoid seeing or bumping into him accidentally, I’m OK.

I would appreciate any comments or replies from anyone interested out there.

Thank you and God bless to all!
Suzet

<small>[ August 05, 2003, 08:06 AM: Message edited by: Suzet ]</small>

Hi Suzet

I wish you the best luck on the ICSI treatment. That is done for severe male infertility problems.

I know it can be very expensive, and try to look for a clinic that has good published estadistics, and success rates. We where suppoused to do that also but the project is on hold because we are separated at this moment.

If you can afford it there that is good, if not consider going to another country for it.
Last time I checked (I assume you live in USA) here it was 4 times cheaper than there and high success rate.

I'll be praying for you.
Keep us posted on it.

Matilde,

Thanks so much for your post. It helps to know that someone out there in the same situation emphatically understands my problem. I&#8217;m sorry that currently you and your H are separated and can&#8217;t go through with the project. It must be difficult for you. I&#8217;ll also be praying for you and also for the recovery of your marriage.

We live in South Africa and because of our weak exchange rate we can&#8217;t afford going to another country. The clinic we are currently visit have high success rates in this particular process (ICSI) and was highly recommended by several people and doctors. I feel assured and confident that this is our way to go. Our only problem is the high cost. It will cost as approximately R25 000 and we'll have to make a personal loan in order to get the money for this process. This morning we were also informed that the medical aid isn&#8217;t going to give us any financial support and I feel so disappointed and powerless today&#8230; I know the path through this process to conceive will be hard and difficult (physically, emotionally and financially) and sometimes (like today) I just wonder if it all will be worthwhile... Yesterday I replied to someone saying that: &#8230;&#8220;if He brings you to it, He will bring you through it&#8221; and I really believe that with all my heart&#8221;. Yesterday I felt so positive. We don&#8217;t know what the future holds but I must just continue to put my trust in God and accept whatever he thinks will be the best for us. We&#8217;ll start the beginning of the process during September and by the end of November we will know if it was successful or not. I will keep you posted.

<small>[ August 06, 2003, 02:40 AM: Message edited by: Suzet ]</small>

Hey Suzet

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Thanks so much for your post. It helps to know that someone out there in the same situation emphatically understands my problem. I’m sorry that currently you and your H are separated and can’t go through with the project. It must be difficult for you. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well God sure works in misterious ways... imagine that we went into that project to find out about H A? Thank him we didn't got to far on that project then. Now we are trying to fix M FIRST and then we will see...

How much money is that in US$? I'm just curious.

I'll be praying for you and your H.

Best wishes and good luck on that.

Matilde,

With our current exchange rate it will approximately be 3 333US$.

QUOTE: "Well God sure works in misterious ways... imagine that we went into that project to find out about H A? Thank him we didn't got to far on that project then. Now we are trying to fix M FIRST and then we will see..."

I understand what you are saying. It&#8217;s indeed the hand of God made you found out about you H&#8217;s A before the project could went too far. I can just imagine how much more pain would be involved if it wasn&#8217;t the case... In our case we&#8217;ve also put the project on hold because of our recovery from my EA, but for the first time we feel ready and strong enough to go through with this project.

Thanks for your good wishes and prayers.

Suzet