Hi all,
In May 2002, my H and I separated because he was always out drinking with his friends and never spent any time with me. He met someone the same Saturday that I left. He met her that day at work (she was a customer) and I left that night - not because I knew about her, but because he was again going out and he was acting mean as always. We were still talking to each other that following week and that's when he told me that he met someone that last weekend, but nothing had happened. A week later, I found out that they had already slept together (a one-night stand deal). Long story short, we decided we wanted to work things out after I found out. We had a few rocky months between May 2002 and July 2002. We "officially" reconciled in August 2002 (meaning no moving in, moving out, moving in, and so on).
Since we've gotten back together, he is a totally changed person. He is very attentive, openly communicates, and does not drink. This has been the best year of our marriage by far. We don't fight like we used to before our separation. We even decided to have a baby - we have a beautiful 4-week old baby girl.
The problem is that even though everything was going great, I had so many unanswered questions. Finally last night I asked him all the questions. These were detailed questions, like: How many times they actually had intercourse? (3 times), What sexual positions were used?
All the questions were not about sex - I also asked questions like: Were you happy with her? (No), as well as questions about what places they went to together (ie. restaurants, shopping)
He reluctantly answered all these questions. I told him these were things that I had been wondering about for over a year now. I thought that if I knew these things, it would make me feel better. In a way it does, but my question is, how do I get past this? Now I know everything. Was getting all the details a bad idea? Maybe it was just a way of torturing myself. I know that she meant nothing to him, that she was there when I wasn't. I realize that some affairs last a long time, and his was a one-night stand. Some people may even argue that he wasn't really cheating on me because we were separated. We were separated for one week! It still hurts. He told me that he thought that he could just get over me and meet someone new, but he couldn't get over me. I believe him. I believe him when he says that he loves me and wants to be with me. He's been the best husband for the past year. So how do I move on? Why can't I just be happy?
I have been up all night thinking about what happened. Please give me some advice!
