After a sucessful Plan B, my W and I have been working on things for the past week and a half. The total time of this ordeal is about 6+ months and it has taken its toll on me. My friends & family dont understand how I have persevered though what I have and how I'm still standing, but I was. If my W hadn't cut things off with the OM, I was easily within days of getting a D. I was at the end of my rope. I prayed countless prayers and felt God leading me in that direction for the last month or two, it has just been hard for me to accept.

Over the last week we have had countless talks & discussions about needs, desires, commitment and God. I made a list of several things that needed to happen in order for our marriage to work, she agreed to them all. Not everything was perfect of course, there was lots of negotiation and debate but I felt as if we were making progress which was good because I knew I was on the edge. I kept myself cautiously optomistic as said that one more big hit to our marriage would probably end it, but I had to try. I poured all I had into recovery.

Last night came the blow. I knew that the OM emailed her, and had proof of it. She liked to me about 4 or 5 times about it before I confronted her with the truth. I could not believe what I was hearing. I hadn't felt this much pain since the A was revealed.

Now all she is aking for is 1 more chance for her to prove she can bee a good wife. One more chance to make things right etc. etc. She says she finally realizes all she has done is wrong, has apologized, says she is willing to give up anything and make any sacrifice for me because I am the most perfect husband a woman could have. And a whole lot more.

Frankly, I dont trust her. How can I, I am so close to filing right now because I cannot play this game anymore. Maybe she is right, all it takes is 1 more chance, but I just gave that too her the last week and she threw it in my face. She agreed to n/c with him - broke it. She agreed to radical honesty with me - broke it. She agreed to full disclosure of emails, etc. - broke it.

In the last 12 hours she has been going overboard to prove to me she is a good wife, making the bed, making food, trying to take care of all my top ENs. But I am just numb, I dont know if I can ever open my heart to her again. We were only married 1 year before this, we have been in this over 6 months, I am tempted to end this.

Any words would help.

Call Steve/Jennifer Harley. See number below.

I am not surprised she couldn't keep her word about never again contacting the OM but before you make a life altering decision like divorce please get a hold of your emotions and think things thoroughly.

You need to have a talk with her where you calmly and respectfully that her lying about her contact with the OM was like learning about another affair from her; that your love for her took a big hit; and that you have absolutely no trust in what she says to you. If she truly wants to prove herself then she will have to do so with her actions which include closing ALL her e-mail accounts and IM that she used to communicate with the OM and going to counseling with a pro-marriage oriented professional that will formulate a marital recovery plan. Make these two conditions non negotiable that will either make or break the marriage.

Just a question: if you really think she broke her one last chance...why did you put "or a new beginning?" in your subject line?

There may be numerous times like this in your joint recovery.

Let you wife know how finding out about what happend made you feel and that you understand the difficuly she may be having (withdrawl) and you also know she can't control other man from contacting her.

HOWEVER it's important that if he does contact her (or she slips)that she tells you right away and that she responds to other man with a firm "please stop contacting me, good bye click"

Start thinking like a team again. This is not about her Vs you. It's about your joint recovery.