Some of you know of my situation. Wife found old boyfriend at her mother's wake and started a torrid affair. We were already separated for 3 months. Expected the affair to continue, but my D told me my WW has been talkes nightly to 2 other men from her past whenever the OM is working or not able to 'bed' her.

Has she gone crazy? She has turned into a nyphomaniac. I'm not exaggerating!!!

We hardly had sex the last 4 years because of my health issues. I was diagnosed with low testosterone but I got on a hormone replacement study and things greatly improved and I can have normal sex (with Viagra), but that didn't interest her. Now she is going screw crazy with anyone she knows. (Not me though)

Has anyone seen this kind a behavior before??? Is she having a nervous breakdown? She is 49, getting ready to have a hystorectomy.

I have been in pretty good control before I found this out from my daughter. My WW and I don't communicate because I am on Plan B.

How should I handle this? Seems to me that she needs psychiatric care. God she must have hated being with me. I feel like SH--! Her behavior makes me feel so inadaquate that I don't know if I can ever be with another woman. Maybe I need psychiatric care too!

God, I think she is lost! I couldn't be married to someone like this. This hurts like hell.

Hi Monty,

This sure this is a shocker, but I've seen and heard some pretty strange stories about WS on this board before. Normal? Nope. But I have seen this happen before. There used to be a poster named Hurrian Hoosier and his wife had an MLC and did this. You know, some of this could be wrapped up in the hysterectomy thing....not only the whatever hormones are at work...but the idea that she is somehow losing her womanhood. She does need help, and hope she gets it. I think that you need to remove your child from that home. I'm so sorry. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

<small>[ August 22, 2003, 10:41 PM: Message edited by: star*fish ]</small>

Bump THANKS Star*fish.

I want as many regulars as possible to have input on this. This is a person out of control. I think this is a very sick woman. Even if our marriage ends, I don't want to see her go down the tubes like this. I don't know what to do to get her help. Can I force her to??? (although living separate, no one has filed) ** Please note; my D tells me one of the men she talks to nightly is infected with Hepatitus B. This one was the past love of her life, till he dumped her in her college days for another woman. She could be so irrational as to have sex with him anyway "with protection"!!! Please read my almost hysterical post below:
__________________________________________________

"Some of you know of my situation. Wife found old boyfriend at her mother's wake and started a torrid affair. We were already separated for 3 months. Expected the affair to continue, but my D told me my WW has been talking nightly to (at least) 2 other lovers from her past whenever the OM is working or not able to 'bed' her.

Has she gone crazy? She has turned into a nyphomaniac. I'm not exaggerating!!!

We hardly had sex the last 4 years because of my health issues. I was diagnosed with low testosterone but I got on a hormone replacement study and things greatly improved and I can have normal sex (with Viagra), but that didn't interest her. Now she is going screw crazy with anyone she knows( past lovers ). But not me though)

Has anyone seen this kind a behavior before??? Is she having a nervous breakdown? She is 49, getting ready to have a hystorectomy.

I have been in pretty good control before I found this out from my daughter. My WW and I don't communicate because I am on Plan B.

How should I handle this? Seems to me that she needs psychiatric care. God she must have hated being with me. I feel like SH--! Her behavior makes me feel so inadaquate that I don't know if I can ever be with another woman. Maybe I need psychiatric care too!

God, I think she is lost! I couldn't be married to someone like this. This hurts like hell"

All Right Monty it is time for a reality check.
I agree with starfish that your daughter has to be your number one priortiy. It is not safe for her and it is certainly an unhealty environment for her to say the least. I would contact an attorney immediately and understand your various options. Your daughter will be raised with a very wraped view of relationships and marriage if this continues. If what you say is true then it will be a matter of time before your wife picks up something. See an attorney now and at least try to save your daughter. I wish you luck.

Monty, I think she needs desperate therapy now!
She is not only going bonkers, she's putting her life at stake. And I'd get my child out of the situation as quickly as possible.
Hepatitis can be gotten so bring the health issue up with atty.
As for wife, if she's getting a hysterectomy, she is going to go through quite a turmoil as the loss of hormones will play havoc with her!
Of course, there are replacements, but if she takes the ones usually prescribed by doctor, they will give her one heck of a hard time!
80% of women who are put on the usual go off due to side effects. She won't feel so sexy then!
I know of a great compound, have written about it a lot, but we won't tell her about it unless she comes home, wants to rebuild her marriage and commits to you.
Just wait! This woman is going to go through one heck of a turmoil. I can guarantee it!
Without proper care, she'll be the one not able to have sex! How justice works!
I wish you the best, and a happy future with or without her!
If you do decide to rebuild and there are problems for her, then write me, I'll give this wonderful info then!
But not so that she may continue her trip she's on now.
God bless, LouLou

Thanks NewBranch and Bryanp

Glad to read the info that you posted. I will have to break with Plan B to do this, but this is an emergency. My D so far seems much more grown up than my WW. I have read many posts about BS and WS. I haven't seen anything like this before. I should be able to get my daughter here without much fight. Then WW can really go wild. My D has no respect for WW .... DUHHH?!

WW still wants to appear legit though so she might surprize me and refuse about my D and make me go to court to fight for it. BTW the guy with Hepatitus was her first sex and he still has a girl friend and according to WW was real studly.

I enjoyed your post NewBranch about what may be in store for WW once she gets the hystorectomy. Right now she told D that she can't wait for it because she won't have any more periods. It probably has something to do with not getting pregnant too. About having sex though, anybody whose as man crazy as she has become will probably find a way.

I don't know how she would every take therapy though. She thinks I'm the crazy one. I would even know how to suggest it or who else would? I may have to just save my D and myself and let her go her own way. Too many blows in too short a period of time have left me reeling.

<small>[ February 04, 2005, 07:02 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

My D doesn't like stay with my WW. She loves her mother but hates how she is acting. My D is going to ask her M if she can live with me full time during the separation and divorce, if it comes to that. I hope that is enough. My D feel neglected when she is there b/c my WW is always on her cell phone talking to one or another of the men I mentioned.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I think you have zero chance of forcing your wife to get help. She may be behaving in ways that are self-distructive but she is not harming others in an actionable way.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Now that I have calmed down some. I guess you are right on this one. I hate to see this happening to her. I can't reason with her.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>It's likely that your wife is in some sort of MLC, complicated by the impending hysterectomy and the big 50 coming up. She sounds desperate to know that she is still desireable.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I just wish she would have believed me, but this has happened before, not to this degree. A few times in our marriage she lost weight and there has been a lot of heavy flirting from her. It was so obvious and in front of me. It was embarrassing.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> Honestly I don't think that talking to a couple of men (phone or computer) at night is evidence of nymphomania, more likely desperation for constant reassurance.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Believe me, it is much more than talking. She sleeps all night at one's apt 7 days a week, every other week when she doesn't have my D. And my D overheard her making plans to meet one who is married and she has been going to a bowling alley to meet the one who has hepatitus. She can't even be faithful to the OM.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Sure she could use some help and you can suggest it, but why not think about you?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I pray a lot and that helps my mental state, but I can't afford therapy for myself right now.

Monty,

As I said previously, I have seen this before. While it is not incredibly unusual....it IS destructive. But hanora is right....there is no way to force her to get help. It is very sad that her age, along with her health concerns are probably fueling this insanity....but I'm not sure how much influence you can exert. This isn't anything to do with MB....but if you can contact her parents and or close friends...perhaps they may be able to give her some of the support and attention she needs so that she doesn't look in the wrong direction. Tell them you are worried about her....that it's not about revenge, or you, but that you scared for her. And if your daughter is 15....and there is no custody agreement in place....just go get her. The legalities can be sorted out later.

<small>[ August 23, 2003, 06:41 PM: Message edited by: star*fish ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by star*fish:
<strong>Monty,

This isn't anything to do with MB....but if you can contact her parents and or close friends...perhaps they may be able to give her some of the support and attention she needs so that she doesn't look in the wrong direction. Tell them you are worried about her....that it's not about revenge, or you, but that you scared for her. And if your daughter is 15....and there is no custody agreement in place....just go get her. The legalities can be sorted out later.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks Star*fish That sounds like a really good approach. Her close family is only her brother and sister-in-law. I do get along with them very well. I could talk to them no problem. I got my D just a little while ago. She will be staying with me for a while and my D told me that it is she who wants to talk to my WW about staying with me all the time. I will let her and hopefully my WW is agreeable b/c of the free time she will have.

Monty, I'm concerned for your D's health around the Hepatitis. Ask your atty if you can have wife tested and also daughter. And if you can get full custody due to her behavior.
With supervised visitation on W's part.
As for her glee over hysterectomy. LOL She's going into instant menopause. One hell of a ride too.
Yep, there are the usual meds, but the conjugated ones all doctors prescribe will take her on another ride she wont' like! Been there, done that. I did my research and found the most wonderful compound pharmacy, a doctor who knew of them and I've been happily on oral micronized hormones ever since. The difference is night and day.
Heck, even my H informed his ow about them as she was unable to have intercourse where I've had no problems. LOL
So just hold on. Watch and get ready to see a woman going out of her head.
Unless she is one who reads, educates herself and very intelligent, she's going to be extremely disappointed!
I have all my organs, BTW. But those with hysterectomies face multiple problems. Including vaginal atrophy, pain during sex, incontinence due to no support for the bladder from uterus,Loss of libido, etc. It goes on and on.
I have experienced none of these due to excellent meds. Not usually told to you or even available through regular pharmacies.
When my daughter had a huge ovarian cyst and docs wanted to do hysterectomy, I pleaded with her not to due to all these problems she'd possible encounter. She was only 35 at time.
Fortunately, they didn't do it, and she is aware of the meds and pharmacy I use if need be.
Women think in tunnell vision and do not educate themselves.
The old, "Great, no more periods". LOL
Absolutely right,no more periods. Just a hell of a ride of emotional turmoil, body changes, symptoms galore and not pleasant.
And without the right compounded meds, risk to heart, bones, brain, libido, all organs are effected.
I can only Thank God I'm an avid reader and ran across the right stuff!
when my H found out OW had not taken care of herself, couldn't do everything, he came home very contrite and very grateful to have a wife who has taken good care of herself for him as well as myself.
You hang in, and don't forget to pray for God's ill for you and D.
I will do so as well.
Blessings. LouLou

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by NewBranch:
<strong>Monty, I'm concerned for your D's health around the Hepatitis. Ask your atty if you can have wife tested and also daughter. And if you can get full custody due to her behavior. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hope it doesn't come to this. My WW is in a desperate way, even though she looks calm and collected on the outside. She has a dedicated lover, of course he is an alcoholic and screwed up his on 28 year marriage because of it. But WW is still trying to establish a relationship with 2 other men who were previous lovers, before I came along. Both of these men are permiscuous and have a history of many affairs. They both dumped my wife for other women before I met my W. It's almost as if she is trying to rewrite history and make them realize their mistake and want her again.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>As for her glee over hysterectomy. LOL She's going into instant menopause. One hell of a ride too. Yep, there are the usual meds, but the conjugated ones all doctors prescribe will take her on another ride she wont' like! Been there, done that. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That gives some hope, but I don't know if I would be happy that she only came back because no one else wants her because of sex difficulties. If she takes this 'magical compound' and becomes sexual again, she might just leave again and resume her wayward ways. I wanted her to choose me because she she is committed, not because I was her only option.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Unless she is one who reads, educates herself and very intelligent, she's going to be extremely disappointed!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't have to worry about that. My wife is good at her job, but she would never do any kind of research for answers. She doesn't watch the news, documentaries or do any kind of reading. Her educations comes from 'chick flicks' and sit-coms.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I have all my organs, BTW. But those with hysterectomies face multiple problems. Including vaginal atrophy, pain during sex, incontinence due to no support for the bladder from uterus,Loss of libido, etc. It goes on and on. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sounds like she is going to be a bear to live with. You sound like you went through menopause naturally, since you say you have all your organs. How is this different than someone who had a hysterectomy. I have been with a younger woman (before my marriage) that had a historectomy and we had normal sex. Could it be she still had her ovaries. BTW she later died from complications of MS a few years ago.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I have experienced none of these due to excellent meds. Not usually told to you or even available through regular pharmacies. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Again, what is the difference in the results of menopause and a hysterectomy?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Women think in tunnell vision and do not educate themselves. The old, "Great, no more periods". LOL Absolutely right,no more periods. Just a hell of a ride of emotional turmoil, body changes, symptoms galore and not pleasant. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">In her current state of mind where she believes sex will satisfy all her problems, is she thinking about unprotected sex, because she can't get pregnant. She made me where a condom because she didn't want to stay on the pill. It was interfering with her weight loss! This is just before she decided to leave home.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>And without the right compounded meds, risk to heart, bones, brain, libido, all organs are effected. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She is ten years younger than me. But since my bypass and treatment for diabetes, and low testosterone, I feel great. Lost 40 pounds too. She doesn't want to get old (no one does). Will she close the gap between us in the aging process?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I can only Thank God I'm an avid reader and ran across the right stuff!
when my H found out OW had not taken care of herself, couldn't do everything, he came home very contrite and very grateful to have a wife who has taken good care of herself for him as well as myself. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hope that wasn't the only reason he came home. Is he still at home and are you both happy now?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> You hang in, and don't forget to pray for God's ill for you and D.
I will do so as well.
Blessings. LouLou</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks LouLou, that means a lot to me.

My D is here with me, but wants to go to stay with WW. She wants to ask WW if it's OK to stay with me. I said this earlier, but now I don't know if that will work.

My D has gone from seemingly calm and accepting to rage and violent outburst. Says she hates me and especially her mother. D says it is all my and WW's fault that she has to go through all of this and if just WW or me had said they wanted to get back the she (D) wouldn't have had her life ruined. I tried repeatedly to ask her back home before I knew of the affair and a few time after though.

I could only tell her that I am willing soon as her mom is. I don't know what is going on with my wife though. I have not heard anything from her since going NC in July. I know WW is glad to be rid of me. She can do her "night moves" without any interference from me or D.

WW's birthday is Aug 31, but I am going to stay very dark. I won't make any move for contact until the day of WW's surgery for hysterectomy. (that is with Steve Harley's approval). WW wants D to live with her for a few weeks to help take care of her post surgery. D wants to so, I'll let her go. But I am going to instruct D to call me for a quick pickup if any OMs show up a WW house.

God this is so hard. Never in my worst nightmares did I ever believe our marriage sink into this abyss. I don't feel that much pain anymore. I am kind of numb now. I hope I didn't wait too long before going to Plan B.