Hello everyone. I took my wife out for dinner last night and the FOG was in full form. It makes her seem so vulnerable and incapable of making decisions on the simplest matters. I just want to be that stable force in her life right now.

The date was nice and the conversation flowed with us having a lot to talk or update eachother on. She said she didn't want to rush into anything and didn't show me much affection besides a hug.

What more can I do? and Should I give more credibility to her actions instead of her words during this fog period?

I'm in a similar situation.

Is your wife living on her own?

Is the affair over? How long? Her choice? His? What's he doing? Is there no contact?

We need more background details.

Forget the above I found your other post.

Sorry to be so direct with this but your all over the board.

WHAT DO YOU WANT??? Marriage or Single life.

Then I will follow up with more.

Goodguy, I've noticed from your posts that we're definately in the same boat. My wife is living on her own in our house and I don't think she's seeing somebody else. I found out earlier this year about a couple inappropriate relationships by noticing some unfamiliar stored cell phone numbers and then some very flirtacious emails.

It's almost as if she wanted me to find out about what she was doing to get a rise out of me. I went through some depression for alittle while and had an EA with another woman last year which started things off in the wrong direction.

Yes. Actions define us...words are too easy to manipulate.

Now I'm confused. How is fog in full form if she's not having an affair? I'll try to go find your other post and catch up.

Wow Coughlin, it sounds like we're following each others footsteps. I just went to dinner and had the same experience.

Take the experience as a show of good will to at least getting things going in the right direction. Try not to put more into what it was, but be happy to have at least started building a friendship back which hopefully will lead to bigger and better things.

Look at it as dating like you said. And just like in dating don't expect too much, build things up and let it go from there. We're almost starting from ground zero.

Clearly she still sees something in you worth staying M for.

I Guess I should have awnsered your question. Opps

I had the exact situation as well. After my No-contacted me (she needed time and space as her affair was crumbling) she contacted me after 6 weeks. Then again in two weeks she contacted and asked if I would like to have a drink with her.

I also look at it as a date and kept things light.

Now 3 weeks later and I have not heard from WW.

Now in my case i know OM is undecided with what he wants. My WW, His wife or non of the above.

So my WW my very much be still lost in the fog of the on again off again affair.

But I look at her actions as you should your WW. There baby steps and could come form her need for some emotional attention or guilt to see how your doing or testing the waters of recovery.

I'd say keep up with Plan A for a little while longer if you can and try to spend as much time as possiable with you WW. When your together leave the relationship stuff alone for a while and make date time safe and comfortable for both of you.

Best of luck.

As for the comments that look she got the house as her reward and you should move in right away. Forget about it. Asking her to move out so you can have the house because of what she did is petty. You decided to move out so stay put.

I believe that your decision to move out and allow your wife to stay where she feels safe won't be seen by her or anyone as some weekness on your part but a carring and understanding decission for the good of your marriage.