My wife and I are having some major issues with the fact that she has not had her EN met for a while. She never told me of the problem.
long story short she has found someone who is meeting these needs. OM also is having marital problems and is talking to her about the same things. OM is a client of hers and it would be very hard for her to seperate herself unless he either breaks non-proffessional contact or her boss knew.
I am reading and trying to explain to her that I love her more than she knows. She simply feels it is too little too late.
I feel like she has put up a wall because of the attachment to OM. OM has children and wife, and could jeoprodize both careers.
I feel like I should unaggressivly approach om and ask him to stop. Or I should tell her Boss. I do not want to make too many LBs. She will not listen to any one telling her she is wrong (Mom, sitser or friends.) she is only listening to people telling her they will support her or that she needs to be happy.

Help! I am pulling my hair out.
I have set up a Counseling session, but I don't know if it will d any good.

Lhs,

R U new to MB? If so, we recommend you read 'surviving an affair' and his needs/her needs. Both books are by Dr Harley. There are others.

You need to understand the reasons and affects of plan A vs plan B and the best way to use them in your situation.

Get with a good MC &/or call Steve or Jennifer.

Your W is not going to listen to anyone sane right now. So don't waste your breathe. Use your time and energy on strengthening yourself. You may see your W fail (job, M, etc.) but you need to be the one with a clear mind and a calm heart. Also pray for patience. This A stuff really taxes the soul.

take care,
L.

I understand someone here is trying to steal my identity <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Luvherstill- The journey that you are about to undertake is going to be the most painful, gut-wrenching experience you will ever have but in the end, you will emerge from it a better, stronger person. You have come to the right place looking for help, support and answers. The wonderful people here on these forums have helped me more than I will probably ever know. There is a lot of good advice here and a lot of support.

If I can offer anything, I would recommend you read everything on this site, everything. Get a copy of HNHN and SAA (my library had them) and read them. Read what Plan A is all about, read about the dynamics of affairs and realize that they are a symptom of a problem and yes, they can be overcome and the M can be restored and be better than it ever was.

Right now you have to focus on yourself, keep yourself healthy physically, emotionally, mentally and spirituality. Really take time to learn what Plan A is about and how to implement it effectively. I know this is going to sound strange, but there is nothing you can do about or for WS. At this point, anything you do willl be perceived as neediness, pressure or manipulation. Dont do anything (like call OM's W, WS's boss) until you have had a chance to accept what has happened, read MB principals and have yourself emotionally settled down. Ask all the questions you want, vent here all you need, thats what we're here for.

Your not alone in all of this, you have a family here who is ready and willing to help you. This is not going to go away overnight, it will take time, so hang on and get ready for the wildest ride of your life.

Take care of yourself.
LHS