Hi Pepperband, I have had a lot going on in my life lately but getting through it all and doing good. I am not a bit shy or reluctant to speak out or to talk with anyone in real life,but here in cyberland,on this forum,I am VERY reluctant to post but this is important.
I want to tell you that I realize how much I have grown and how far I have come since I first posted and you reached out to me. There were behaviors that I had that I had no idea was not healthy(especially for me) until I read here for a while. There have been some things in the recovery period that even the MC or IC does not address.Only here on MB forum have I learned some things.
I have learned to set better boundries.I did not realize that a person can be too good to their S or too kind and forgiving but I have learned it is possible.
It was not the same as being a doormat. It comes from some religious background teachings. It is
not the same thing as described by Janis Abrahms Spring in "After the Affair" when speaking about "morbid dependency".I certainly have self respect and have always known and taken seriously that I have rights. It is a taught behavior of a loving nature that actually comes from the heart but can lead to being taken for granted. IC helped and I have read many books,most that were suggested on the forum,and learned a lot from them as well.
Anyone can learn if they will just read and read on this forum.
My sweet H and I are doing so great.We have come a long way. Our recovery is real. Many good things have happened for us and there are more good things in the making right now. We are watching some of our dreams come to reality and I am so thankful.
We have made it,Pepper. My H and I have a wonderful relationship and everything is in place for a great future. We have done some hard work and a lot of looking into ourselves and our relationship.
He still maintains that his A had nothing to do with anything lacking in me or the M. I can now accept that.I have read enough to understand it now.With circumstances being what they were, I was the one most likely to have an A. I did not.
Pepper,I want to tell you these things because you were a big influence in my growth.Not just from what you wrote to me but what you write to others and I read.I will remember your advice for the rest of my life. A lot of what you posted is of help in other areas of life not just in a M. I want you to feel good about the time you take to post here.I am sure you do not need my praises to feel good but I hope they are at least the double fudge topping on the ice cream. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
So my critique of your posts..... Keep up the good work.Your honesty is moving and your wisdom is amazing.I also like your humor. Thanks for everything. kk
<small>[ November 02, 2003, 04:06 PM: Message edited by: kings kid ]</small>
